Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Surviving Cocktail Hour

When you are in Wave One on The Sonoma Diet, you are not allowed any alcohol.  At all. For ten days.  Today is Day 3 for me, which means that if you are reading this, I am not in jail.  Yet.  Yes folks, Mental P has made it through two grueling blissful nights enjoying her family sans the benefit of a buffer a glass of wine.

Here are some coping skills I have honed the last 36 hours of deprivation cleansing.  You, too, can use these tested techniques during that certain time of day when you feel like you might kill someone:

1.  Do some more laundry.  You know there is always something else to wash, and no one can see you cry in the laundry room.
2.  Read.  Like, a book or something.
3.  Write a letter--that activity is actually fun.
4.  Clean off your desk.
5.  Take a nap.
6.  Take a bath with Johnson's Baby Bath for Cranky Babies.  It has a nice Lavender scent.
7.  Start dinner.  But be careful, because there is a whole lot of chopping involved with all these vegetables.
8.  Take a sniff of Squazz's scotch.
9.  Give yourself a nice facial.
10.  Tweeze.  In ernest.
11.  Eat your long-awaited snack for the day.  I got to have 11 almonds on Monday.  Yesterday was 1/2 cup of grape tomatoes....I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.
12.  Take one more nice deep sniff of Squazz's scotch.

By the time you complete most of the things here, cocktail time has effortlessly passed, dinner is ready, and you get to eat your carefully measured allotment of protein, and your unlimited broccoli, cauliflower and asparagus.  On your nine inch plate.  

In all honesty, this is a very fun and tasty program.  I rarely feel deprived of food.  My wine is a whole 'nother story.  But I am 33% there!  In Wave Two, you get to have a glass of wine with a meal of your choice.  I am thinking Day 11 might feature a breakfast varietal.  Wonder what goes with All Bran?

Anybody have any other suggestions?

34 comments:

brneyedgal967 said...

Origami is good. One can never have too many paper cranes. At least, that's what Monkey Girl thinks... but she's not biding her time to stay away from alcohol - yet.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

do you recall how to make those really cool gum wrapper chains??? if so make some... if not learn how! LOL. DUCKING ...

Sassy said...

I ♥'D those gum wrapper chains...I always thought those were cool...maybe you could get a paper route...rolling and throwing papers would probably get rid of some frustration for you plus you would make a little $$$$$ to pay for phase two.

Did you see my friend Dane on Biggest Loser tonight...he did awesome...20lbs...not too shabby!

~ Straight Shooter ~ said...

I snorted, I chuckled, I guffawed my way through this post!
Sending ((hugs)) and lots of virtual Big Girl drinks!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Champagne, the whole bottle, goes very well with breakfast.

They did say one bottle, right?

p.s. In honor of you and BHE and Grandma J., I am greatly reducing my intake of food and making better choices PLUS I have no red wine left and will see how long I go before I run like a madwoman to the store to get some more. MOnday night - 2 glasses. Tuesday - 1. Tonight with none in the house? Insanity, but I do it in your honor. (I did sleep a little better last night.)

Living on the Spit said...

I was gonna say...ummmm, Mimosa!!!

I am hanging in there too, but no one really wants to talk to me all that much...

I am not snappy.

Marlene

Starwoodgal said...

I'm doing the reading thing. I went to Borders last night and purchased new (stronger) reading glasses and three new books. "The Shack". And two books by Nora Ephron. I sat in bed and laughed a lot while reading Nora's books.

Wish I could sleep until spring.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I'm making another baby afagan~just for the hell of it~I'm sure someone will have a baby soon that I can give it to.(let me know it you need one!)

All my laundry is done.
I'm reading everynite.
My desk is clean.
Took a bath.
I chopped CdubbleU's head off while preparing dinner.
I tweezed every hair off my face~still working on my legs tho.
I ate my cheese snack~if you want to call it a "snack".
A facial?? Now that is funny!
Sniffed some lime juice.
What's your address? I'll write you a letter!

I'm doing great too!

Cool Breeze said...

Only one glass? Your gonna need more than that to choke down All Bran.

winetipper said...

Sounds as though you are doing fine with the alchohol part, but the food part sounds a bit dicey. All the broccoli and cauliflower you want? If someone sticks a pin in you, will you pop like a balloon?

Snooty Primadona said...

I'd say a nice wine with nutty flavors should do nicely, lol.

Hang in there! You're going to look fabulous dahling!

dlyn said...

Okay - so it is probably an optical illusion or something, but where you say "smell Squazz's scotch", I saw something completely different.

And because of the dark color of bran cereal, I would suggest a red - like you would have with beef you know? A Grenache from Spain would make you glad you got out of bed I bet.

asthmagirl said...

I think you should ease back into the good stuff!

Mogan David?

Caution Flag said...

Like dlyn, I also misread, "smell Squazz's scotch," and I was hoping that wasn't a weight loss prereq.

Now, what goes well with All Bran? Several hours of isolation.

Big Hair Envy said...

I have discovered that it takes so long to prepare dinner and pack lunches, that I don't have time for any of those other activities. My laundry may NEVER get done!

I don't believe that I was quite as irritable last night as I was Monday night. Others may think differently. BUT, weighing myself at the gym Monday grossed me out SO much that I just can't worry about the wine.....for eleven more days;)

Joanie said...

Oh, gosh, I can't wait to hear the results of your suffering....

Trisha said...

Good for you! I like your suggestions for getting through the cocktail hour - especially the one about laudry!

Anonymous said...

I think a buttery Chardonnay is a good choice with breakfast....hang in there. Nurse Nancy

Keetha said...

You are a strong, strong woman.

Bear Naked said...

Mama
I raise my glass to you.

Bear((( )))
(Sorry)

Flea said...

Bwahahaha! I kept reading "Squazz's crotch" instead of scotch!

You'd need something fruity to go with the All Bran. Maybe something really out there, like a blackberry wine.

Flash Stitcher said...

I would venture to say that a nice Sanoma Chardonnay would go nice with All Bran! Do you really need the bran though?

Sounds as though you have the first part of this diet thing worked out ok!!

Daryl said...

Malbec .. 2006 Catena .. seriously its devine with granola or any other food ...

Hilary said...

All Brandy, of course.

bernthis said...

sign up for a Karate class. You'll be so pissed off by day 6 you'll be able to kick your way through a brick wall.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I think by day 11 ANYTHING would go with AllBran. *lol*

I was doing OK until you got to the part about Tweezing. Then I had to run and hide in a corner. I had a tweezing trauma (say that ten times fast!) when I was 19 and have never picked up the tweezers since! *shudder*

I'm joining BHE's little weight loss group and we'll see how long I last until I knock over a Cold Stone Creamery or Hostess store.

Adventure girl wanna be said...

Well I tried googling "what wine goes with bran" and I kept getting.............any wine;) So go for it. I have never heard of that diet. I am going to look it up;) I loved your list! Good luck with each new passing day in your 1st wave;) XOXOXO

Baroness von B said...

I take my All Bran with a dollop (1/2 cup) of fat-free plain yogurt, and a handful of either blueberries or raspberries. Heavenly!

I'm really proud of all the effort you've made so far. And just remember - anything you are temporarily giving up will still be there at the end of your journey. But you need to walk that path to be able to learn how to moderate these things.

Hon, if I could do it, then anyone can! Keep going!

Country Girl said...

In honor of you, I am giving up alcohol for 10 days as well. I normally don't drink at all during the week, so I'm doing great right now. But come Saturday night, I'm gonna be jonesin' for a drink. But I will stay strong.
I've also lowered my food intake considerably.
Today was pretzel day at school. I love pretzel day. They even brought some to the office. Free for us. I cringed but I did not partake of those damned things.

I'm proud of you.
And that bubble bath sounds yummy.

Debbie said...

What was the question? All I'm getting is a visual of you and Squazz and all the sniffing. If this keeps up, he'll want you staying on this diet forever!

Pam said...

This is definitely diet time for many of us. I took a trip to Germany in November (where I could not resist the bread and pastries)and returned just in time for the holiday food fest! I don't long for a drink, but Godivas and ice cream actually whisper my name! Oh the misery of it all. I just started a new thyroid medicine today, so I'm hopeful that I'll get my old body back soon! Hip Hip Hooray! We'll all be ready for bathing suit season!

Tonjia said...

hey good luck on the sonoma, I hear it works!

Suz Broughton said...

You lost me at "write a letter."

noble pig said...

At first glance without my glasses I mistakenley thought scotch was crotch...OMG I laughed so hard..."take a sniff at Squazz's crotch...oh Lordy.

1/2 cup tomatoes...OMG woman you are going to disappear.