This 'n That Thursday

Utter nonsense:

• All of my medications have "x's" in them.
• I am obsessed with Gotye.
• What are those white fluffy things floating everywhere?
• I am taking my nephews their birthday cards tonight.  Their birthday was two weeks ago.  I consider myself right on time.
• I cannot believe how much unknown I have in my future right now, and how very happy I feel.
• I believe it cost me more to take Dora to the vet yesterday for her checkup than it does for mine.
• She is fine by the way...maybe a few pounds overweight, but very good.
• Getting hair done tomorrow.  Cannot wait.
• The Bird and I went to the New York Botanical Garden last weekend...amazing.  
• I am always hot.  And not in a good way.
• Coffee creamer made from coconut milk is the bomb.

You?

This 'n That Thursday

Pure drivel:

• It's going to be almost 70 here today.
• Extreme weather deviations give me a closet crisis.
• I am going on a road trip with The Bird tomorrow. She's driving.
• Is it just me, or has Tom Selleck managed to get hotter?
• Speaking of hot, besides a midnight ice bath, what's a cure for these late night episodes?
• I am addicted to Ezekiel cereal.
• I've had two doses of radiation. I go every afternoon for 6 weeks. I love all the people there.
• How do you clean an iron that has burned gunk on it?
• Thanks to my offspring, my new obsession is Hanging with Friends.  gah
• Is it hot in here?

You?

My Mommy at the Mall

She thinks we don't know about this.

But, hello?

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Do your feet ever get hot?

I don't like hot.

Did you know that?

In the lane...

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Excuse Me

The Summer Solstice is not until June 20 at 7:59 pm EDT.

What on earth is happening?

I don't do hot.

At all.

I am hormonally incapable of surviving this.

Codependent Computer Mama

I got an Apple MacBook about a month ago.  I still have an hp desktop that I use as well.  I switch between the two of them all day long. (I work from home arranging online content partnerships.)  Many of you have asked me how I like the new computer; I am really enjoying the Apple, and cannot tout it's graphics and fun-ness enough.  But I still like my PC.  Sigh.  I don't see me being a one-or-the-other person any time soon.

Please don't tell me how messy my desk is.  I know it.  And, no, I don't smoke.  The lighter is for my candles.  Sorry Asthmagirl; I like to have candles burning on my desk on gloomy days.

Aren't those heart-shaped post-it notes cute?

And I found the Spearmint Altoids when I cleaned my closet.

It was almost as fun as finding a twenty dollar bill in my coat pocket.

Almost.

This is the present view behind me in my office:

I bet you think my desk doesn't look so bad now.  Do you?

Since it's behind me, I don't dwell on it so much.

In an effort to avoid aforementioned office, I cleaned Augie's closet yesterday.

He was at school at the time.

Now his closet is very clean.

BEFORE:

Um, son, you need to take the boutonniere off your tux before it gets shoved in the closet.

AFTER:

I think I've had enough of the closet madness in this house.

Time for office cleaning.

Has spring-cleaning fever hit anyone else out there?

Sometimes We Need a Little Music Therapy

Silly Saturday fun.

Self Explanatory

My new personal logo and apology for everything naughty I've ever done or will do. The end.

A Cure for Hot Flashes

When you are seasick, nothing else bothers you.

I Really Don't Like Being Hot

My bridge friends really get a kick out of this story so I thought I'd share it. A few years ago, Squazz and I went to a casino called The Mohegan Sun with Miss K and her husband Chief. The whole thing is underground, and it is a lot of fun. I'm telling you, fun. We checked in to our respective rooms, and hit the tables. And the bars.

Miss K and Chief

While Squazz and Chief busied themselves at the Blackjack Tables, Miss K and I flitted about the place playing the slot machines and drinking wine. I think at some point, we even stumbled upon some concert, so we stayed there and danced a bit. Then we had a burger and some more wine. Then we went in search of our spouses. Don't you think the plural of spouse should be spice? Anyway, here is where the story gets a little fuzzy.

When we found them, we told them all about our adventure. But they couldn't understand us. Not a word. I think it's because the whole place is underground, and the oxygen levels were messed up. Squazz and Chief think the oxygen was fine, and that there was something wrong with Miss K and me.

So we were sent packing to our rooms to go night-night. Miss K came to my room where we had some more wine because we needed it. Then she went to her room. I got ready for bed, and I realized I was sweating. It was about 90 degrees in there, and I couldn't adjust the thermostat. I called the front desk for help. Somehow, it dawned on me that I really couldn't talk. Squazz and Chief were right. They couldn't understand me at the desk. That oxygen situation was getting worse. "Hruolo esss hawwwrrt." Finally, I just started saying the word hot all drawn out for them. God what was wrong with these people? Eventually they flicked some switch to activate my room settings and I left them alone. More, importantly, my room finally started to cool down. I was long asleep by the time Squazz returned with all his winnings.

Meanwhile, Miss K was sound asleep in her room when Chief returned. She had the only key, so he knocked. No answer. He rang the doorbell. No answer. He went down the hall and called the room from the house phone. No answer. Finally poor Chief had to go down to the desk and get another key. As he was dog-cussing his sleeping wife, and moaning and groaning, the desk people told him not to feel so bad. "You shoulda heard this woman who was hooooot in room 2430."

Warm and Fuzzy

Squazz and I went to a party the other night. I worked hard trying to look like I didn't work hard. Know what I mean? So, I'm sitting there with some friends, and we all admit that we are wearing tank tops under our snappy sweaters, and aren't we all just so clever? Because, you never know when it's going to get hot.

So, we're sitting, sipping and chatting away, when all of a sudden, I smell something hot. You know, that hot smell? So I say to Polly, "I think something's burning." I look around at all the candles. They are all behaving. Then I realize it. I am having a warm moment, and it is my bare skin next to my new sweater that is making that warm scent. Pretty.

As a saving grace, it really was hot in that place, and Squazz opened a window for us gals at the bar, and we were much relieved. Thanks, Squazzy.

Roughing It

My son Augie is participating in an urban submersion program this weekend. He does this community service as a part of his school requirements, but all in all, he does enjoy it. In preparation for the trip there were some simple instructions. Bring: sleeping bag, pillow, towel, warm clothes. Leave behind: cell phone, wallet--or in the mind of a High School Junior, all that is essential for survival.

Every evening this past week, we had a "discussion" like this:
Mental Mom (smiling and cheerful): Now, have you thought about the warm clothes you need to bring? Do you need anything.
Augie (eating): It's okay.

Every night, the same words are uttered at the dinner table. Every night. It sometimes brings on a little sweat.

Fast forward to Thursday when I go to his school to pick up his backpack, wallet and phone. Here is our chat:
Mental Mom (smiling and cheerful): Are you nervous? I am a little, but I know you are going to get a lot out of this.
Augie (pointing to his pockets): Do you realize I don't have anything; no phone, no wallet.
Mental Mom (smiling, cheerful, and gripping the wheel a little harder in order not to be sarcastic): That is one of the key elements of this experience. You will be fine, there are people living everywhere without cell phones and wallets.
Augie (in all seriousness and with a little disgust): Oh, and I have nothing warm to wear. What am I going to do?
Mental Mom (swallowing hard and sweating): ...

UPDATE 10:31 am: It is snowing now. Sigh.

Happy Birthday Ad Nauseum

Well, I made it. Barely. I think I am ready to call an end to the whole Birthday Week thing. It used to be cute--at least I thought it was--but now I'm just not so sure. I have been spoiled rotten the last week. I am blessed with a family and friends who made sure I was sufficiently

fed and "watered."

I now think I may have gout.

To recap: after much practicing, my "surprise" brunch was on Sunday. It was so, so much fun that my cheeks still hurt from smiling. Annie has a picture of us that was thankfully taken rather early in the day. I finally looked at all the pictures we took, and have decided that I will be discreet at publishing them. My kids read this.

Speaking of kids, they made it home last night from a little trip to Turks and Caicos. It was eleven degrees here at home when I finally pryed my eyes open yesterday. Meanwhile, they were swimming. Anyway, as I was saying, they went on a little junket with their father and stepmother, but were happy to come home to be with dear ol' mom for her big day! Plus they had to get back to school.

We had a great dinner prepared by my husband Squazz. We call each other Squazz, although I'm not sure why. Some more "water," and a cake he produced that I honestly believe could feed everyone on our street. So if you are around these next few days, come on by and have some. I don't think I can eat another bite. Of anything. At least until our bridge game tomorrow.

Is it hot in here?

Sweating

It seems like I can spontaneously burst into a full sweat at the drop of a hat. Here are just a few of the activities that can bring on this phenomenon:

• Brushing my teeth
• Getting dressed
• Reading emails

Things that make me need another shower:

• Folding laundry
• Walking to the mailbox
• Giving the cat her medicine

This was just yesterday. You'd think I would lose up to five pounds a day with all this. But I don't.

Random Maintenance Thoughts

I was recently thinking about making some changes in my Will. (Don't worry dear family, all is well, and I still love you all just the same. I just think I should plan for any possible scenario.)

Like, what about my becoming incapacitated during this crucial "middle" phase? I mean, I have never had so many 'interesting' things going on with my body since puberty. And I sometimes think that era may have been easier in some ways.

Crucial items I will put into my "Mental Pause Clause" section of my Will, should my attorney allow it:

• Eye Cream must be applied daily, or my skin will fall off.
• Same goes with Vitamin C serum and moisturizer.
• Exfoliate once a week, or I will become unrecognizable.
• Extra strength deoderant. 'Nough said.
• Tweezer time as needed. Usually twice a day. Maybe more.

Only designated friends are allowed to perform these feats, and I'm sure I will be adding codicils as the months wear on.

Oy Y'all

One thing you should know about me is that I started out life as a Southern Girl. My momma was one of those who would rather have you display your perfect party manners than feed you. And she was a nice one. After I left her watchful eyes and moved to New York, I let go of some of the protocol; just ask my husband how genteel I can be.

Even still, I have now lived in the New England 'burbs for 25 years, and you'd think I'd be accustomed to the people who just don't give a crap about anyone else. But I can't get over it. I can't get over the four men today who let the doors of the pharmacy, the bookstore and the grocery store SLAM in my face; AND MY HANDS WERE FULL. Yes, I know I'm shouting, but didn't their mommas teach them anything? Where's the love people?

Phew, is it hot in here?

Greetings

Welcome to my blog. I am a middle-aged mama attempting to negotiate my daily life and what lies ahead. Sigh. Please join me as I try to maintain my equilibrium with the help of my family and friends, and maybe a few strangers just for good measure.