Sunday, June 29, 2008

No See 'Ums: A 2008 Story

Remember when you were a kid, and the no see 'ums would come out at night and bite you?  I have a whole new bunch of mental pause no see 'ums, and I have to tell you, I would prefer those old bugs to all the stuff I cannot see now:
  • the looks on my kid's faces when I turn to get money out of my wallet.  For them.
  • the stuff in my teeth after a pesto/pasta salad.  Gives a whole new meaning to long-in-the-tooth.
  • what Augie has in the back of his car.  A speaker? A body?
  • those clear whiskers that I can feel but not see.
  • a normal font.
  • where to put my mascara.
  • the numbers on the scale.  Thank God.
  • my feet.  Another story.
  • Pricetags.  Both a blessing and a curse.
  • most cell phone keypads.
  • my car manual.   Not good when you have a warning light you don't know.
  • the ATM.
  • the shampoo versus the conditioner in the shower.
  • where I left my reading glasses.
That bug doesn't look so bad now, does it?  Any other no see 'ums out there?


Fat & Sassy said...

Yeah...I just hate the fact I can't see um' anything...I'm really tired of old eyes...and having to stand an inch away from the mirror just to put mascara on and those stupid whiskers that are growing on my chin...WHAT THE CRAP? I think I will just put a hippie bead on it and that way I can see it and know where the dang thing is when it needs a plucking! I know all about those litttle keypads on the cell phones...helloooo? I need a braille one. What about just being able to see where I put my glasses so I can see um'...Crazy!

noble pig said...

You know I have always had great eyesight but I tell you lately my accomadation is going. I've heard as 40 approaches this is the first to go. I'm so bummed, I think.

kim-d said...

Oh yeah. The model/serial numbers on the bottom of the router, that the Tech Support person insists they need before they can help you with your Internet Explorer problem. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?

Whenever I am sending a text message, I vow to myself that my next phone is going to be one with a full QWERTY keyboard. The problem is, unless it's the size of my last IBM Correcting Selectric II, I still won't be able to see it :).

Mental P Mama said...

@fat&sassy: A bead? Too funny.
@NP: What the heck is an accomadation, and it this something I need to put on my glasses and research?
@kim-d: I completely forgot those blessed serial numbers. Just had to call someone over to my house to read the one on the back of the washing machine.

I need to figure out how to make a business opportunity out of this...

winetipper said...

Noseeums for me: anything smaller than a bread box and beyond 12 feet from where I'm standing.

Greta said... about every corner of my house! Clutter everywhere. I must not see it. Or else I would go insane.

Anonymous said...

Let's see (pun intended!) The look on NSLO's face when I tell her she has to drive herself to work, that is why she has a car.

The look on the manager's face at a store where I shop when I ask for an application for a possition!
and they inform me that they are er looking for someone younger...bummer.

The instructions for the mustache, er excuse me, lip hair remover that will keep me from suffering a chemical burn.

The year and model number of my stove because the front burner exploded and I have to replace it!

I much prefer the bugs.

apathy lounge said...

I need my glasses in order to find them when they go missing! A vicious circle!

Meg said...

Oh my goodness, getting older is bad enough, but when our eyes start failing us, yikes! Mine are still pretty good up close, it's the far away sight that is getting harder and harder...especially when driving! I can't hardly READ the exit sign until I am right there!

dlyn said...

If it is smaller than the dog, I pretty much can't see it close up without reading glasses.

Lisa J said...

YOUR eyesight might be going but it is my mind that I can't find. Because I KNOW I had a waist just last week, and boobs on my chest. Cute little perky boobs, now they are sitting clear down on this bulging thing that used to be a tiny waist. I know it was just there....where in the heck did it go, where did I put it? I guess if I go get MY glasses maybe I can find them again. Good grief. If anyone finds them for me let me know the meantime I have to keep looking for them. Sorry, gotta go.

Mental P Mama said...

Well I am so glad to know I am in such good company! And Lisa, I thought I had reduced my belly with my new healthier living...turns out it just moved around back...

Debbie said...

I'm not sure if it's from being on computer so much or what, but it's getting where EVERYTHING is a no see um!

Got this cell phone and good grief..well it was David's old one and I need glasses to use it. Forget texting...I'm with Kim..I need huge buttons on it.

I think this is one of the most bothersome things of getting older!! Whine!!!!!

Krysta said...

i can't see the news headlines that run on the bottom of cnn...

Mary said...

I've been terribly nearsighted since second grade. Now that my close up sight is going, I can't see anything clearly at all unless it is EXACTLY 6.5 inches from my face. How sucky is that?

On the other hand, maybe failing sight is a blessing... How much worse would I feel if I could actually see all those wrinkles on my face when I am trying to pluck my eyebrows?

Daryl said...

I think I see better close up w/o my noline bifocals ... but the glasses hide my undereye circles and steamer trunks .. sooooo

Love this list ... thanks for the kind words about my sis's Minnie


holly said... am i glad i never heard of these before. no, i never got bit.

so stuff that we don't want to see that's bad? hmmm...i'm pretty okay with not seeing the bad stuff. i'm pretty ostrich-y that way.

how about : nope, i got nothin. i'll probably think of something when my head hits the pillow.

OH I KNOW - the time passing midnight? no that doesn't really work either. i just know i don't want to still be awake, and yet, there i am, not doing anything about it. . .

Beckynsc said...

How about the instructions on the pill bottle.
Why is it we lose our eyes and gain a middle.

Bear Naked said...

The PHONE book.
Is it just me or have they made all the names and numbers smaller.

Flea said...

I can work around most of these things. Those bugs? HATE THEM. Give me numbers on a scale any day. :)

Snooty Primadona said...

I remember the first time I realized I needed bifocals was when I had done my pedicure & went with a friend & all our kids to a AA baseball game. As we were sitting there my friend looked at me and said "Did ya paint those toes after a few toddys? Cause I'm not sure you got any on the actual toenails." Thank God for friends.