Friday, February 29, 2008

All Better

Yesterday's fishing adventure was not an entire bust...the menfolk each caught a fish. No marlin, but some tuna and an amberjack. The marine life was very interesting. Whales galore. A mother let us follow her and her calf about a mile or so...beautiful.

The other really cool thing was a school of porpoises that we intercepted. Make that a university. At least a thousand of them, and the water looked like it was boiling over the several-acre school. I wildly snapped pictures, and was not able to do it justice, so we will have to wait for Miss P to see if hers are any better. Not to worry, I will have a nice album on Flickr next week.

Oh, and the weather? 85 and sunny. I think there is a slight chance for a fluffy cloud to come by later. Today at home in Connecticut? 30 with a snow shower.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Cure for Hot Flashes

When you are seasick, nothing else bothers you.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Cocktail Corner in Cabo

Well, it's not technically Cocktail Corner because Annie and Jules aren't here...But I am making the best of things with Miss K, Miss J and Miss P! Oh, and the menfolk, too. Squazz, Chief and Mav. The boys tend to busy themselves with golf so we can go about relaxing here at Villa Amanda.

Today was breezy, with multiple whale sightings. Now we are cocktailing here on the terrace overlooking the Sea of Cortez. Life is beautiful. Never fear, I will post plenty of pictures after we return next week.

Tomorrow we are going on a deep sea fishing adventure. Wish us luck.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Vacation Update

Temperature: 86
Weather conditions: Sunny and breezy
Pool: 84
Sea of Cortez: 70ish
Whales seen today: 4
Cocktails today: 2 (so far)
On the ipod: The Doors
Hi Birdy! Hi Augie! Do your homework!

Love, Mama

Monday, February 25, 2008

Weight Loss Gimmick # 1,670,396

This concoction is called Sassy Water. Cucumber and lemon slices, spearmint leaves and fresh grated ginger. You mix it all with water and let it marinate overnight. Then you drink it and waste away to nothing. Or maybe, just maybe be able to zip up fat jeans.

I'm wondering what it would taste like with a little rum.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Vacation Prep

Manicure/Pedicure? check
Sunscreen? check
Anal-retentive instruction sheet(s) for animals and kids? check
Passport? check

Highlights? check

And let's just say that Ralph was not happy with my tipsy bang-job.


Will be reporting from South of the Border.

Stay tuned for more hot stories.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

P is also for Perspective

I made another alarming yet somehow comforting discovery this week. When your belly gets bigger? It makes your hips and thighs seem just a little bit smaller. Perspective, yeah baby. Got it.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Snow Day

Snow is pretty.Mexico will be prettier.


Asthmagirl is at it again. And I like this one where we have to list five random things about ourselves with pictures, so here you go:

I love all things pear.

And monkey.

I love my electric corkscrew. A little too much.

I am not a natural blond. Hard to believe from my drivel, I know.

I have become totally obsessed with Radiohead.

Annie, Jules and I have a new creation!

Better'n therapy!
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 5 random facts about yourself with pictures
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
Have fun! I am not feeling well today, so I'm not tagging anybody. But you people out there with the camera talent get to work!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

College Visit Chatter

Mental Mama (cheerleader-like): Ohhhh look! Isn't this wonderful?

Bird (distracted/irritated): mmm

Mental Mama(still cheerful): Look at the gardens! So beautiful!

Bird (barely tolerant): mmm

Mental Mama (hungry yet cheerful): This food court is great. Look at all the options. Oh my word, we are going to have so much fun here!

Bird ( horrified): We??????

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Setting Priorities

My monkeys and I went college-visiting over the past weekend. It was very enlightening. Keep in mind, will you, that these two are very good students and fine citizens. No one knows where they get these traits from, but I digress.

Apparently, Augie will only attend a school where they dress like thugs. This was a child who would not go to elementary school without a crease in his khakis.
Bird? Well the water pressure in the shower and closet size are her sticking points.
Wish me luck.


Finally. I think someone read my blog and decided to act upon it. That Spy Satellite needed to be dealt with ASAP.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I Really Don't Like Being Hot

My bridge friends really get a kick out of this story so I thought I'd share it. A few years ago, Squazz and I went to a casino called The Mohegan Sun with Miss K and her husband Chief. The whole thing is underground, and it is a lot of fun. I'm telling you, fun. We checked in to our respective rooms, and hit the tables. And the bars.

Miss K and Chief

While Squazz and Chief busied themselves at the Blackjack Tables, Miss K and I flitted about the place playing the slot machines and drinking wine. I think at some point, we even stumbled upon some concert, so we stayed there and danced a bit. Then we had a burger and some more wine. Then we went in search of our spouses. Don't you think the plural of spouse should be spice? Anyway, here is where the story gets a little fuzzy.

When we found them, we told them all about our adventure. But they couldn't understand us. Not a word. I think it's because the whole place is underground, and the oxygen levels were messed up. Squazz and Chief think the oxygen was fine, and that there was something wrong with Miss K and me.

So we were sent packing to our rooms to go night-night. Miss K came to my room where we had some more wine because we needed it. Then she went to her room. I got ready for bed, and I realized I was sweating. It was about 90 degrees in there, and I couldn't adjust the thermostat. I called the front desk for help. Somehow, it dawned on me that I really couldn't talk. Squazz and Chief were right. They couldn't understand me at the desk. That oxygen situation was getting worse. "Hruolo esss hawwwrrt." Finally, I just started saying the word hot all drawn out for them. God what was wrong with these people? Eventually they flicked some switch to activate my room settings and I left them alone. More, importantly, my room finally started to cool down. I was long asleep by the time Squazz returned with all his winnings.

Meanwhile, Miss K was sound asleep in her room when Chief returned. She had the only key, so he knocked. No answer. He rang the doorbell. No answer. He went down the hall and called the room from the house phone. No answer. Finally poor Chief had to go down to the desk and get another key. As he was dog-cussing his sleeping wife, and moaning and groaning, the desk people told him not to feel so bad. "You shoulda heard this woman who was hooooot in room 2430."

Monday, February 18, 2008

Teen Drivers

No one will own up to this damaged basketball hoop base. Is that what you call it? I think we got it at Costco.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Warm and Fuzzy

Squazz and I went to a party the other night. I worked hard trying to look like I didn't work hard. Know what I mean? So, I'm sitting there with some friends, and we all admit that we are wearing tank tops under our snappy sweaters, and aren't we all just so clever? Because, you never know when it's going to get hot.

So, we're sitting, sipping and chatting away, when all of a sudden, I smell something hot. You know, that hot smell? So I say to Polly, "I think something's burning." I look around at all the candles. They are all behaving. Then I realize it. I am having a warm moment, and it is my bare skin next to my new sweater that is making that warm scent. Pretty.

As a saving grace, it really was hot in that place, and Squazz opened a window for us gals at the bar, and we were much relieved. Thanks, Squazzy.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Update on the Great Laundry Debacle of 2008

Due to the kind and clever suggestions of all you sage folks. I washed the other shoe. Whaddya think? You people are smaaaart.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Cupid Draw Back Your Bow-ow-ow

This is our parrot Cupid. Today is his official holiday. Happy Valentine's Day, Cupid. We love you. Even though you make a mess. A big mess. We love you. Do you like the faux tropical habitat behind him? I try to make all our animals feel comfortable. Sometimes I even try to make the human animals comfortable. Mostly, though, it's the animal animals I mess with. See this monkey? I love monkeys as much as Tammy does. This monkey is painted above Cupid's cage, just so he'll think he's in the jungle. The real jungle. Not the jungle that is our house. I think he likes it for the most part.

What's that you ask? How's Dora? Oh, she's just dandy. Happy Valentine's Day, Dora. Are you comfy or do you need another blankie? Mommy is here to serve. I would post a picture of kitty Noelle, but she is hiding today. Happy Valentine's Day, Noelle. Wherever you are.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day Squazz, Bird and Augie! You guys are the best.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

P is for Procrastinate

When it comes to procrastination, I have some issues. I hate it. I have taught my children the evils of procrastination through the years, and they are fairly well aware. There are the occasional Sunday nights and mornings of angst, but all in all, things run pretty smooth around here. As far as I know. And that is fine with me.

Another thing about me is that I can sometimes talk the talk. But walk the walk? Not so much. We are going on vacation in ten days. My passport expired in October. I have known about this for five months. Passport: still not renewed. I get to spend today in the State Department offices near here. Yay.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Ghost Stories

Tammy over at The Color of Home has been writing some great "we are not alone" posts. I must say that these have brought up some interesting memories of my own. And since everyone already thinks I'm a little off my rocker, I thought I'd share some of my stories.

I'm sure we've all heard the slumber party ghost stories of ill-fated camping trips or careless hitchhikers. We had those, too, but I grew up in Middle Tennessee, and we had lots of ghosts. All kinds of ghosts, and some of them were really loud. There are many reasons for this, including the fact that the main route to the Mississippi River, The Natchez Trace, ran smack-dab through the middle of my town. Another, was that one of the bloodiest battles of The Civil War, occurred there November 30, 1864.

Because it was such a popular thoroughfare, robbers were a frequent hazard along The Trace, and many unfortunate travelers met a tragic end during their journey. As teenagers, we were always down by the river at night waiting for one of the most famous ones of our area, the screaming woman, to pay us a visit. The story goes that she was murdered by robbers after watching her entire family die first. You never saw her as a woman, she was either a green light, or just a screaming noise. Now, we almost always went when there was no moon, of course, and the one night I encountered her she was only a scream. Just the same, I never went back. One night, she came as a screaming light to some friends, and for a brief moment, their running car would not move either forward or backward, as if she were holding it. They never went back there either.

Most Civil War towns are full of lingering spirits, and one in particular lived in my friend Donnie's antebellum house. This ghost was a confederate soldier named Jeremiah, and he was mortally wounded and brought back to the house, which was being used as a hospital, after the November battle. Jeremiah was basically friendly, but he had some issues. He lost a leg in the battle, so he hopped around the upstairs halls at night. Donnie would call from his room: "Go back to bed Jeremiah," and he would turn and hop away. One night we were there watching television downstairs, and the three of us simultaneously turned around to see pairs of socks being silently thrown over the upstairs balustrade. No one was home but us.

One other visit I had was with Catherine. Catherine was the great-great aunt of some friends of mine, and she lived with them because her furniture was in their house. It seems she needed to be with her things. One night I asked who the woman in the living room with the white shirt and dark hair was, and the whole family fell silent. I liked her, she was serene and beautiful, and you could just feel her whole presence.

Weiner Woes


Analyze This

So, I had this dream the other night. I was sitting next to a lady in some sort of auditorium venue. While making idle--read mindless--chatter as I tend to do, I noticed that she had those size-tape thing-ies all over her sweater. Each one denoted a different size. I casually brought it to her attention because, I mean, I would want to know. Right? She just sat and stared at me.

In other news, I seem to have developed a girl-crush on this year's Sports Illustrated bathing suit cover girl. Has anybody out there seen her? Lord have mercy.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Important Stuff

There are some burning questions I have that are taking up way too much space in my head. Please help me with some answers.
  • Why does the garbage man always deploy the compactor in our driveway? All the garbage juice drops out.
  • Why does a well-fed dog insist on eating the cat litter?
  • Why does it take one hour to gain a pound and one week to lose it?
  • Why do I always bang my cut finger into things?
  • When will I stop getting pimples?
  • What is it with that one white whisker?


Doggie in the Dumps.

Apparently February is even hard on our four-legged friends.

Poor Dora, don't worry baby, spring is coming soon

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I Like These Girls

Hey Annie and Jules, let's see if they'll come to cocktail corner. They look like they would be fun.

A Fine Start to the Week

Today's Aquarius Horoscope: Feb 10, 2008
Some vast upheavals in your career could take you by surprise, dear Aquarius, but it's apt to make a very positive difference for you. Your public standing and your income could both skyrocket. Legal papers might be involved in some way. This may be so sudden that it has you in a daze, but try to remain focused and go with the flow. You won't want this opportunity to pass you by.
Get ready world. I'm apparently about to become rich and famous.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Roughing It

My son Augie is participating in an urban submersion program this weekend. He does this community service as a part of his school requirements, but all in all, he does enjoy it. In preparation for the trip there were some simple instructions. Bring: sleeping bag, pillow, towel, warm clothes. Leave behind: cell phone, wallet--or in the mind of a High School Junior, all that is essential for survival.

Every evening this past week, we had a "discussion" like this:
Mental Mom (smiling and cheerful): Now, have you thought about the warm clothes you need to bring? Do you need anything.
Augie (eating): It's okay.

Every night, the same words are uttered at the dinner table. Every night. It sometimes brings on a little sweat.

Fast forward to Thursday when I go to his school to pick up his backpack, wallet and phone. Here is our chat:
Mental Mom (smiling and cheerful): Are you nervous? I am a little, but I know you are going to get a lot out of this.
Augie (pointing to his pockets): Do you realize I don't have anything; no phone, no wallet.
Mental Mom (smiling, cheerful, and gripping the wheel a little harder in order not to be sarcastic): That is one of the key elements of this experience. You will be fine, there are people living everywhere without cell phones and wallets.
Augie (in all seriousness and with a little disgust): Oh, and I have nothing warm to wear. What am I going to do?
Mental Mom (swallowing hard and sweating): ...

UPDATE 10:31 am: It is snowing now. Sigh.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Friday Afternoon Giggle

Well folks, Kacey has once again inspired me to share a little something with y'all. I have let things get a little out of control in my office. Right here you will see an old fashioned Dictionary. I can't help myself. I'm old and I like to look things up the old way. And that box on top? Those are my Whitestrips I got from the dentist at my last visit. Four months ago. I figured I'd be more inclined to put them on while I worked. I've used two sets so far, and there are 42 sets in the box. The other things are a notebook, and a neck massager from woot! that I got in November. Please notice it is still in its original package. These are on the floor to my immediate left so I can get to them for frequent use. If you look really close, you'll probably see the dust.
And this? This is a partial area of my desk. More essential items. See if you can find them. I'll list some of the more important things to give you some help. Notebook, phone, tv remote, calcium tabs, water pills, hand lotion, scented candle, magnifying mirror (I tend to tweeze a lot these days), stamps and reading glasses. There's a lot more crap there, but I am too embarrassed to label it all. I'll see you later, I think I need to do some tweezing--er--I mean housecleaning. Have a great Friday!

Another Day in Paradise

Dear woman blaring your horn at me,

Please allow me to help you out with what is happening here. I am backing out of a parking space. Very slowly. There is a Hummer parked beside me. I cannot see you. When I find myself in your position, I stop and let the person back out, but then again, I am not going 40 mph IN A FULL PARKING LOT. It's just what I do. Maybe having been brought up somewhere besides a BARN has something to do with it.

Mental P Mama

PS: Maybe if you put out that cigarette and hung up the phone it would help.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Domestic Diva

Can anyone guess which suede shoe found its way into the washing machine? Good grief.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Another Meme for the Mental Mama

Okay peeps, I've been tagged again for a meme, and this one is fun in a quirky random and different way. This is from asthmagirl, and you should check her out ASAP because she does some fun stuff in beautiful places--along with a cast of characters that include a husband, dogs and a whole passel of inhalers. Anyway, as I was saying, she sends the following rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

So here we go. I picked up the nearest book--

"Kerri glances over her shoulder at me. 'You look like shit.'"

Sooooo. Buddies to tag? Kacey (she tagged me last time), Annie, Jules, Lynne, and Suzanne (hope it's one of yours!). Have fun, and if you can guess the book I used, I will send you a little prize.

Things I Can't Stop Thinking About...

  • That German infant being dropped from a burning building, and caught by a policeman.
  • Super Tuesday results. Wow!
  • Chappy. Get well baby boy!
  • The Hawaii Chair.
  • Why my Google Ads are all about mental illness. ? ?
  • I am going on vacation soon, and haven't really bothered to get myself into beach-going shape. And I don't think it has anything to do with the snacks we consume during a little game of cards.
  • I won big bucks at bridge last night. Boo hoo, Annie.

  • What an all-around darn good sport I am. See you later, going shopping.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

What a Day!

One of the best perks I have found since I started this blog is the amount of smart, creative people I have 'met.' Now, I totally love my 'in person' friends--I mean, Cocktail Corner is pretty much a utopia for me. But there is something about all you great folks out there sharing your recipes, families and puppies with the world.

For instance, yesterday, my friend Tammy in Oklahoma and I had a very busy day. It all started when she named me the winner of a Name This Photograph contest. Too fun for words, and I won a gift certificate to Target!! She went on to post two more hilarious musings, and then, a horrifying account of a coyote attack on her little shih-tzu Chappy in the afternoon. Needless to say, I am so caught up in all this, that I could barely sleep.

The good news this morning is that Chappy is doing much better. The bad news is that I either need to head to the closest therapist's couch or get a life. Probably both. In the meantime, get well Chappy! Love, Aunt LaLa

Monday, February 4, 2008

I am so getting this

An Obit from Saturday...

"She was very funny with a great sense of humor. In her younger years, she loved to go into NY City to eat at various restaurants. She collected souvenirs, dolls, and stuffed animals. She liked to sing and whistle and passed time by popping bubble wrap. She also loved to sit outside to take in the fresh air and watch the cars go by."

Must. Get. Some. Hobbies.


My son decorated his car before the big game last night. Go Giants! What a night we had...

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Calendar Check

According to my calendar, yesterday was Groundhog Day. That means it's February. Doncha think it could be time to TAKE DOWN THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS?
My hormones have rendered me totally incapable of looking at all the dead garland and wreaths in my line of vision as I go about my daily life. I feel the sweat beads developing even sitting here writing about it. Now, nobody likes to deck the halls more than I do. I start early, and enjoy the glittery season for all its sparkling beauty. But when it's over, it's over. Think tulips and daffodils. Think happy springtime thoughts.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Older and Wiser

I learned a lesson this week: Never come home after a dinner party and trim your bangs. Never.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Surprise Meme

So I'm sipping my java and visiting my favorite blogs this morning, and lo and behold...I've been tagged for a meme by Wine on the Keyboard. You should pay Kacey a visit--some funny stuff. She also has a great blog about blogging. Do yourself a favor, and go there, too.

Anyway, this meme has some rules we need to follow:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Okay. Six random things about me:
1) I am secretly plotting to go to college with my children.
2) I am somewhat addicted to First Class Solitaire.
3) I love every kind of bean there is. I know.
4) I have a crush on George Washington.
5) Every time we entertain, I cut my finger.
6) I love to watch 'Nick at Night.'

Now I'm going to tag Tombstone Annie, Jules, Kellypea, Melinda Zook, and Elyse.

Emily Post Goes to the Debate

Wow. What a difference a day makes. Body language points of interest included Obama's pulling out Clinton's chair for her, and his leaning in for a handshake. And that post-debate hug? Wow.