Tuesday Text: Parentexting™

I still get no respect.

For those of you who would like a little laugh.  This is what she posted: 

41 Things Moms Like to do on Facebook

And I don't do any of that.

Except for maybe #10.  And 12, 21, 27....

Please tell me I am not alone.  Please?

Laundry Loafers

 The Great Shoe Caper of 2008.

 

I finally washed the other one so they would match.

What's the sixth picture in your sixth folder?

Go check.  I'll wait.

And thanks to Shara for the fun meme.

 

Interview Me!

My first interview with The New Yorker!  Yes, Daryl, The New Yorker!  And here is what she wants to know:

1.  If I didn't know what you looked like, would I know you?  How?  What is it that makes you memorable?   Well, I think if you heard me speak, you would know it was me.  I talk just like I write, and with a Southern accent.  And that, my friends, is what makes me memorable.  Or forgettable.  Depending on what kind of mood you're in.

2. How many pairs of shoes do you have?  Are you really a shoe junkie?  Okay, hold on, I'm going to count.  67.     And if you want to know the sandal and flip-flop count, you'll have to write to me.  I consider that classified information.  Does this make me a shoe junkie?  You tell me, but I don't think I'm even close.

3. When/How did you, Annie and Jules meet?  I met my very good Cocktail Corner friends about ten years ago when I first started dating Squazz.  He introduced us, and when we moved to the "Corner" 4 years ago, things really got interesting;)  By the way, since I am on Day 8 today of my Sonoma Diet, I haven't seen them all week.  And I miss them.  But on a positive note, I am wasting away to nuthin'!

4.  If you could live anywhere, where would that be?  Why?  I am honestly very happy right here in Fairfield County, Connecticut.  We have toyed with the idea of moving to a more moderate climate--I grew up in the South, but I love it here.  I love the pace, my friends, the activities...you name it.  I love to travel, but am always thrilled to come back home.

5.  What do you like about your job?  Well, I am about to be out of the longest running job I have ever had--and the best one ever.  My babies are going to college in August, and I like to think that they are going to be the honest and true citizens I have been nurturing.  After that?  I really want to lay off the volunteer work, and find a paying job.  I need to be with people, and I will need the dollars!  I have an MA in Communications, so if you know anyone in the area who needs a marketing/event management/right hand person, please let me know.  Mama is ready!

So that's it.  Simple.  I am ready to return the favor.

Here are the directions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the

questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview

someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask
them five questions.

Oops...I meant to say the first 5 who said "Interview me." Now, just wait for your questions....

One

I cannot remember where this came from, but it is fun.  And telling.  Come on and play along.  One word answers only.  That means you, too, Chesapeake Bay Woman.  I double dog dare you.

• Where is your cell phone? Kitchen
  
• Where is your significant other? Car
  
• Your hair color? Blonde
  
• Your mother? Heaven
  
• Your father? Ditto
  
• Your favorite thing? Reading
  
• Your dream last night? Flood
  
• Your goal? Peace
  
• The room you’re in? Office
  
• Your hobby? Blog
  
• Your fear? Apathy
  
• Where do you want to be in six years? Alive
  
• Where were you last night? Theatre
  
• What you’re not? Skinny
  
• One of your wish-list items? Puppy
  
• Where you grew up? Tennessee
  
• The last thing you did? Gym
  
• What are you wearing? Sweats
  
• Your TV? On
  
• Your pet? Three
  
• Your computer? MacBook
  
• Your mood? Serene
  
• Missing someone? Yes
  
• Your car? Honda
  
• Something you’re not wearing? Bikini
  
• Favorite store? Neiman's
  
• Your summer? Short
  
• Love someone? Yes
  
• Your favorite color? Green
  
• When is the last time you laughed? Today
  
• Last time you cried? Yesterday

Four

I don't remember a whole lot these days, but

I think Country Girl started this meme:

Post the fourth picture in your fourth folder.

I didn't want to play along.  But I decided to be brave.

Now you see why.

May 27, 2006:  Sometime after 5pm.

Can you tell we had been sipping tequila vodka scotch champagne under the Hot Spring Sun?

This is my friend Petey.  He is both Noble and Unaware.

We were shot photographed at a wedding reception where we were waiting for someone to save us and throw us some food dinner.

Now I expect everyone to follow suit.

Go forth and fetch your fourth folders.

Can you out-embarrass me?

Mama Meme

I am not tagging anyone, but I encourage y'all to do this one.

The rules are to answer the following questions in one word and then pass it on to seven others.  This is from my good buddy Working Mom.  

Where is your cell phone? No idea

Where is your significant other? Sofa

Your hair color? Mixed

Your mother? Dead

Your father? Ditto

Your favorite thing? Family

Your dream last night? Talking Dog

Your dream/goal? Health

The room you’re in? Annie's Kitchen

Your hobby? Blogs

Your fear? Weakness

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Right here

Where were you last night? Home

What you’re not? 29

One of your wish-list items? Happy Children

Where you grew up? Franklin

Last thing you did? Took a sip of wine. Duh.  With Annie.  Duh

What are you wearing? Augie's sweater.

Your TV? Always on.

Your pet? Dog.  Cat.  Bird.

Your computer? PC and Mac.  I'm codependent.

Your mood? Na na na boo boo.

Missing someone? Nope

Your car? Dirty

Something you’re not wearing? Lampshade.  Yet.

Favorite store? Neiman's

Your summer? Too short.

Love someone? Yes

Your favorite color? Blue

When is the last time you laughed? 30 seconds ago

Last time you cried? Yesterday

Like I said, I am not tagging anyone, but if you've lasted this long through my detritus, then please leave a comment about what we have in common.  Also, please forgive my non-one-word answers.  I am excused because my dog ate my estrogen.  

**More importantly, for every comment I get by midnight EST tonight  (Wednesday)  I will donate one dollar to the Connecticut Food Bank.  I encourage everyone to do this.  Think Globally, Act Locally.

Thanks, too, to Maggie for the idea;)

xoxo, Lauren

Tagged

I know what you're thinking.  Oh, gah, another fecking wonderful and informative meme.  But I am making a promise right here that my answers will only be a one-line affair.  No matter what.

This one is from Tammy.  Here we go.

What tv game show/reality show would you like to be on?

This. Is. Jeopardy.

What is the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?

It was Betamax:  The Legend of Billy Jack.  --One Tin Soldier.... God am I old.

What is your favorite scent?

Dial soap. 

If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on?

Pay off the mortgage, and buy investment property in Virginia. ;)

One place you've visited, can't forget and want to go back to?

Ireland.

Do you trust easily?

Yes.

Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think?

Act.

Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

Friends with illness in their family.

Do you have a good body image?

Surprisingly, yes.

What is your favorite fruit?

Grapes;)

What websites do you visit daily?

Way too many.  And I love them all.

What have you been seriously addicted to lately?

My children's college application processes.  They are not the least bit happy about that.

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? 

Irreverent and loyal.  The best combo;)

What's the last song that got stuck in your head?

Billy Don't be a Hero.

Favorite clothing?

Jeans and flip flops.

Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?

Nope.  Unless they are mushed into a bar with butter and marshmallows.

What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?

Pick it up.  Try to find the owner.  But only for a minute.

Items you couldn't go without during the day?

Water, eyeglasses and food.

What should you be doing right now?

Flossing, brushing and exfoliating.

I Just Don't Know....

When AsthmaGirl tagged me for a meme a few weeks ago, I dutifully put it on my to do list.  And a funny thing happened to me with this one; I have been thinking about this almost every day because I keep changing my answers.  Then I think back on what my answers would have been 10 years ago.  And they are vastly different.  I am still a work in progress, but I think it's going in a positive direction. 

Anyway, here we go:

7 Things I plan to do before I die:

1) Dance at my grandchildren's weddings

2) Go to Tibet

3) Go to Bali

4) Be published. On paper.

5) Know all the conventions for Bridge

6) Make a difference

7) Have no regrets

7 Things I can do:

1) Love unconditionally

2) Be self-sufficient

3) Listen

4) Be there

5) Speak up

6) Laugh at myself

7) Tell the truth

7 Things I cannot do:

1) Swallow a pill

2) Tell a lie

3) Live with my natural hair color

4) Be around smoke

5) Pull a tick off the dog

6) Eat eggplant or cilantro

7) Program my pedometer

7 Things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1) Honesty

2) Genuine caring for those less fortunate

3) Emotional and physical fitness

4) Well-read

5) Environmentally savvy

6) Manners

7) Smile

7 Things I say most often:

1) What are y'all doing?

2) Do you need anything from the store?

3) Gah

4) Are you hot, or is it me?

5) What do you want for dinner?

6) I don't like it

7) Where's my puppy?

7 Celebrity crushes:

1) Sean Connery

2) Clark Gable

3) Kelsey Grammar

4) Tom Brokaw

5) David Sedaris

6) Candice Bergen

7) Cybill Shepard

Tagging no one, but want to know how hard coming up with these responses is/was for y'all.  This was a real challenge for me.  I love my female tags.  And that's it. Amen.

Avert Yer Eyes

MommyPie tagged me.  And so did Asthma Girl.  And because I am a lazy broad,  my post today is MommyPie's 10 Random things.  Just because AG's was long.  And I am so lazy busy. But I will do it, AG.  I promise.

The rules:

“Tell us/me/the world 10 interesting/random/quirky/normal/silly things about yourself … things you’re looking forward to, things about you personally, whatever you want.”

Here we go:

1)  I miss Tim Russert so much; you'd think we had something going on.  By the way, Squazz, we didn't.

2)  I have a tattoo.  Guess where and what it is.  And, if you know me, please don't spoil this.   Thanks.

3)  I sometimes drink Cabernet.  Shocking.  Right?

4)  I have a little crush on Joe Biden.  Maybe not so little.  By the way, when does that old plagiarism scandal rear its little head again? 

5)  My mother loved Joe Biden.  A lot.

6) Her Conservative Republican loving brothers disagreed with her.

7)  Can you tell I'm watching the convention?

8)  I am wondering if I have a favorite child.  People do, you know.  I don't think I do. 

9)  My husband loves his Harley motorcycle.  It is a Fat Boy.

10)   Some days we ride together.

11)  Some days I stay home.

Crazy Eights

Kareer Woman tagged me last week with a fun and somewhat difficult meme.  The theme is eights.  Here we go--try not to get too excited.

Eight Things I Have a Passion For:

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Pets
4. Flowers
5. Learning
6. Travel
7. Honesty
8. Peace

Eight Things I Would Like to do Before I Die:

1. Be published
2. Dance at my grandchildrens' weddings
3. Go on a safari
4. Go to Fiji
5. Learn HTML
6. Run a half marathon
7. Have a hole-in-one
8. Make a difference

Eight Things I Say a Lot:

1. What time are you coming home?
2. Be careful...
3. What do you want to eat?
4. Putzy paws
5. The Universe is listening 
6. Time to get up...
7. I'm sleepy
8. Could you please clean up your room?

Eight Books I Have Read Recently:

1. Mrs. Dalloway  Virginia Woolf
2. To the Lighthouse   Virginia Woolf
3. The Hours   Michael Cunningham
4. The Power of Now   Eckhart Tolle
5. American Sphinx: The Character of Thomas Jefferson   Joseph Ellis
6. Eat, Pray, Love  Elizabeth Gilbert
7. The Girl With a Pearl Earring   Tracy Chevalier
8. Things I Learned About My Dad (in therapy)  ed.  Heather Armstrong

Eight Movies I Have Seen Eight Times:

1. Gone With the Wind
2. Bambi
3. Breakfast at Tiffany's
4. Arthur
5. Finding Nemo
6. The Lion King
7. Holiday Inn
8. White Christmas

Eight People I Have to Invite to do This Meme:

1. Noble Pig
2. Flea
3. Daryl
4. AsthmaGirl
5. Debbie
6. Meg
7. Lisa
8. Kacey

and.....# 9 (I am an Aquarius, people) Kim!

Consider yourselves tagged.  And, honestly, this was the only category in which I could have listed 100 names.  So basically, if you read this, you are tagged.  I look forward to learning more about my friends out there...

Meme-or-able

Okay.  It's meme-time again.  I was planning on taking a meme sabbatical, but this one was fun to read, and I just so happened to have a few random-and-useless-to-anyone-but-you thoughts in my head appropriate for this little exercise.  Working Mom has done it this time.  You should do yourself a favor my dear reader, and pay her a visit.  She is quite funny (her masthead is worth the price of admission).  And also very caring.  My favorite combination in a person. 

The Rules:

a. Link to the person who tagged you.
b. Post the rules on your blog.
c. Write six random things about yourself.
d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
e. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.
f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

And away we go:

1)  I am 5'9" in my bare feet, but I have profound scoliosis.  My doctors have told me that I would be close to 6' if my spine were straight.  As a result, I don't know which height to use to calculate my BMI. I generally use the 5'9" because I need the motivation to keep my head out of the Fritos.  And the wine rack.

2)  I cannot swallow pills.  Any size at all. The flavor of Advil kinda grows on you after a while.

3)  I believe in reincarnation.  In fact, I am pretty sure I know some of the characters I have been before.  Some are quite colorful.  More on that later.

4)  I actually embrace my age.  And I look forward to the future very much.  That being said,  I am not ruling out a little tweaking here and there.  More here than there.

5)  I am 37.

6)  I am normally a very honest person, but, um, I lied in #5.  I am 48.

There you go.  More fascinating details about me. Aren't you happy you asked me Working Mom?  By the way, I'm not tagging anyone, but would love to see more random details of everyone's lives.  I'd rather surf your blogs than do just about anything else. Really.

Original Memoir Meme

Because my 6-word memoir was so horribly interrupted by that mess on I-95, I will now present my original one:

Good friends and chardonnay go together. 

(if you know me at all this is a given)

and then I came up with:

A smile is always in style.

(Teenager encouragement, and a good reminder for all)

then this one followed:

My babies are growing too fast.

.

Timely

A few days ago, the Snooty Primadonna tagged me for this meme.  I have been busy creating all these 6-word zingers in my little head, and then there was yesterday....

First, the business of the rules:

1) Write your own six word memoir;
2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like;
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere;
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links; and
5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Now back to yesterday.  I was out running errands in town, and decided to go to Costco to get some pansies and some Advil.  Quite the combo, no?  Anyway, in order to get to Costco and back home on a timely basis, I have to get on the highway.  So, I stopped by the house because I didn't have my phone with me, and I don't like to be on  #@*#@? Interstate 95 without any help.  The place is a deathtrap.

Costco was nice and quiet, and I got some beautiful pansies, Advil and a few extras...you know how it is in those places.  At least I didn't get the jumbo cooler on wheels that I was eyeballing.

But that's a story for another time...

My 6-word memoir:

The Universe works in mysterious ways.

A chain-reaction mess, and I was the rear-ender.  Luckily everyone is fine.  The pansies were a little shaken up, and the Advil rattled, but all is well. The phone, by the way, came in very handy. (I took this picture with it, too!) Since I am going to be busy today getting a loaner car and retrieving more of my stuff out of the car which had to be TOWED to the shop, no tagging--anyone can play along.  A six word memoir is fun. What's yours?

St. Patrick's Day O'Meme

So there's this new meme floating around out there, and I have decided to play along today. The rules:

1) You must post the rules on your post before you answer the questions. check

2) You need to list one fact about yourself using each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name use your maiden name instead. check

3) When you are finished with your answers, you tag one person for each letter of your name. nope

L My lilies have sprouted!

I I have no idea how to load my i-pod. Bird and Augie have to put my songs on for me. I don't know what I'm going to do when they skeedaddle off to college. Oh yeah, I forgot. I am going to go too.

L The heck with that sassy water. I am seriously thinking about Liposuction. I hate this menopot business. Seriously.

L I am a total Lifetime TV nerd. As a matter of fact, it is on right now.

I I do not like store-bought ice cream. Not to worry, though, I get plenty of calories elsewhere.

A There has been no one to rival Audrey Hepburn. Ever.

N I grew up hating this middle name. Now I love it.

MemeMeMemeMeMemeMe

Asthmagirl is at it again. And I like this one where we have to list five random things about ourselves with pictures, so here you go:

I love all things pear.

And monkey.

I love my electric corkscrew. A little too much.

I am not a natural blond. Hard to believe from my drivel, I know.

I have become totally obsessed with Radiohead.

Annie, Jules and I have a new creation!

Better'n therapy!

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.

2. Share 5 random facts about yourself with pictures

3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).

4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
Have fun! I am not feeling well today, so I'm not tagging anybody. But you people out there with the camera talent get to work!

Another Meme for the Mental Mama

Okay peeps, I've been tagged again for a meme, and this one is fun in a quirky random and different way. This is from asthmagirl, and you should check her out ASAP because she does some fun stuff in beautiful places--along with a cast of characters that include a husband, dogs and a whole passel of inhalers. Anyway, as I was saying, she sends the following rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

So here we go. I picked up the nearest book--

"Kerri glances over her shoulder at me. 'You look like shit.'"
"Thanks."

Sooooo. Buddies to tag? Kacey (she tagged me last time), Annie, Jules, Lynne, and Suzanne (hope it's one of yours!). Have fun, and if you can guess the book I used, I will send you a little prize.

Surprise Meme

So I'm sipping my java and visiting my favorite blogs this morning, and lo and behold...I've been tagged for a meme by Wine on the Keyboard. You should pay Kacey a visit--some funny stuff. She also has a great blog about blogging. Do yourself a favor, and go there, too.

Anyway, this meme has some rules we need to follow:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Okay. Six random things about me:
1) I am secretly plotting to go to college with my children.
2) I am somewhat addicted to First Class Solitaire.
3) I love every kind of bean there is. I know.
4) I have a crush on George Washington.
5) Every time we entertain, I cut my finger.
6) I love to watch 'Nick at Night.'

Now I'm going to tag Tombstone Annie, Jules, Kellypea, Melinda Zook, and Elyse.