Thursday, October 30, 2008

Life's Little Distractions

It's been almost a week since I returned from my little junket to Miami
 And I am going to reveal a dirty little secret. 
 I haven't unpacked yet.  
Well, I did do some.  
Just not all of it.
I've been busy. 
Sort of busy.
 See those little green suede loafers? 
 They have been through the wringer.

And that grocery bag?  Full of baby pictures.
My babies are 17.

I may or may not finish unpacking today.
In the meantime, let's look at some pictures I took while I was driving down the Merritt Parkway and in Greenwich on Monday.
Aren't they festive?

Happy Halloween everybody!

Holy Double Chin

Guess who?


Holy Moly Batman!  
Burt Ward was Robin.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

This-n-That Thursday

Because I know you've been wondering....
  • I am not admitting how many times this month I have aimed the phone at the television and cussed when the channel didn't change.
  • I stopped watching the stock market three weeks ago.
  • I happily wrote a check for  $50  To The Connecticut Foodbank.  Thanks to everyone who commented (all 42 of you...I rounded up).
  • My inability to suffer fools increases daily.
  • Have you noticed how many fools there are these days?
  • Should I do the Mental P Mama Book Club, and how would it work?
  • I don't think I can wait until this election is over.  Campaign Fatigue.
  • I am craving a new puppy.  Wonder if it's hormonal?
  • Did anyone ever see the movie, The Abominable Dr. Phibes?  Best Horror movie ever.  I actually saw it in a theater.  Pronounced "thee-ater" at the time.
  • Everyone should make Dlyn's Apple Cheese Crisp tonight.  It's that good.
  • Tonight is Mischief Night.  Hmmm.
  • I have had the song "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight" stuck in my head for what seems like weeks.

The Wassup Guys--Eight Years Later

Remember this Budweiser ad for the Super Bowl a few years ago?
One week to go....
This is a fast look, and a good one.

Monday, October 27, 2008


One of the books I read during the little vacation I had last weekend was The Shack by William P. Young.  It is a work of fiction in which the protagonist Mack endures many heartaches and losses in his life, and a final blow is the death of a young daughter.  He suffers under the heaviness of his Great Sadness for several years until he is mysteriously summoned back to the shack, in the Oregon wilderness, where his daughter may have been murdered.

Once there, Mack encounters an unlikely and diverse trio who represent the Holy Trinity.  Alongside them, Mack works on uncovering answers to his questions about where God was when he and his loved ones needed him, and why there is so much pain and suffering.  I think the shack itself is a metaphor for the heavy and palpable pain and feelings of inadequacy that Mack, and, if I'm honest, myself, have felt during our lives.  Actually, he attached himself to his pain.  It was how he knew he was alive in many ways--by feeling the pain.  The lessons he learns are transformative.  My favorite notion is that there are no real do's and don'ts.  No right and no wrong.  No good, no evil.  Just lots of food for thought.

While the book is Christian in its literal reading, I think the metaphor/lesson crosses all understandings and doctrines.  As a matter of fact, in The Shack, I found a great deal of the core Buddhist tenet that suffering is inevitable.  Suffering is born of attachments to objects that are transient, and the loss of such objects is both inevitable and painful.  I think it is far more about spirit and being gentle than about any set religion.

While this is a very cursory and subjective take on the book, I would love to hear what others have thought about it.  Faith is a great healer, and while I often thought of that movie Oh, God! with John Denver and George Burns while I read some of this, the overwhelming message for me is that a loving relationship with others and kindnesses to all is a transformative, healing power. 

Fast forward.

Yesterday morning, I found out that half of a neighborhood shopping area was destroyed by fire overnight.  One of the stores was my dry cleaner and another, a favorite wine shop.  I know.

My first impulse was to mentally list all the clothes I had at the dry cleaners, and then I added up how much they were worth.  Then I promptly forgot my stuff.  At least five businesses have been physically destroyed.  These businesses have employees who are working their butts off, like everybody else, to eek out a living.  Like Mack, I wondered why.  Why did this happen to these people?  What comes of all this is the only answer we have.   

After this, I attended a Mother/Daughter Service at The Bird's school.  This is an annual tradition, and each year during the Liturgy, a Senior and her mother each give a reflection on their past and what lies ahead.  Some years, I have to breathe into a paper bag to regain my composure, but yesterday was different.  I feel hopeful.  While I am facing the necessary loss of my beautiful babies leaving the nest, I am doing my best to embrace it as anything but a loss.  They are gaining a new life, a new step on their paths, and I do revel in the possibilities for them.  

In the meantime, I will continue to work in my garden/soul as Mack does, and live in the possibility.  A garden is, after all, a continual work in progress.

Vacation is Over

And as a reminder, my friend Mimi just sent this to me....

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy
has to say about New Englanders...  

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September thr ough May, you live in New England
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England . 
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in New England
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England 
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England. 
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England
If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Beach Reading

I know you are waiting with baited breath to hear all about my little junket.  Miss K's business trip was a lot of fun.  For me.  I may eventually spill it, but just know this: I have never seen so much rain and mist in South Florida.  Ever.  In my life.

So, I did a lot of reading during my waking hours....

First, Twilight.  I love this book.  I cannot wait for the movie, and I'm going to get the next three in the series.  Any other freaks like me out there?  Hello,  Edward?
Next, The Shack.  I was both bewildered and enthralled by this book.  Are there any study groups out there to explain it all to me?
More of my waking hours were spent having a cocktail or two.  Hey, it was South Beach.  Wouldn't you?
Now, I'll just be in my laundry room.  And the grocery store.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

A Sad Farewell

To my little weekend in Miami.

Friday in South Beach

Have you heard that I'm on a free vacation?
I am such a maverick.


Meanwhile, back in West Hollywood.
Miss Lucite goes to the pumpkin patch.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


So, I'm just sitting around, minding my own business.  Not really.  Talking about Thanksgiving.  And the next thing I know, I have invited myself to accompany Miss K  on her boondoggle business trip to Miami.  Her stupid busy husband couldn't come.  So, here I am.  Trying to just eek out a survival.  

Bird, please don't forget to clean the cat litter, kthx.
The Rose Bar at The Delano

Daryl Wins!

I'm in Miami.  South Beach.  I think...

Daryl, email me.

You are getting this.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Where In The World Is....

Mental Mama?

Stay tuned for my freeloading story whereabouts.  Not Connecticut Hint:

I'll take guesses.  And if someone has the correct answer before I post my destination later today (say, 5 pm EST) they will get a prize.  A nice prize.  Well, nice to me;)  You'll have to trust my middle-aged judgment.

By the way: friends, family, pets, or anyone who actually knows where I have scampered off to, are not eligible to wager.  You will all be getting a fruitcake for the holidays. Get ready!

xoxo, MPM

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mama Meme

I am not tagging anyone, but I encourage y'all to do this one.

The rules are to answer the following questions in one word and then pass it on to seven others.  This is from my good buddy 
Working Mom.  

Where is your cell phone? No idea

Where is your significant other? Sofa

Your hair color? Mixed

Your mother? Dead

Your father? Ditto

Your favorite thing? Family

Your dream last night? Talking Dog

Your dream/goal? Health

The room you’re in? Annie's Kitchen

Your hobby? Blogs

Your fear? Weakness

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Right here

Where were you last night? Home

What you’re not? 29

One of your wish-list items? Happy Children

Where you grew up? Franklin

Last thing you did? Took a sip of wine. Duh.  With
Annie.  Duh

What are you wearing? Augie's sweater.

Your TV? Always on.

Your pet? Dog.  Cat.  Bird.

Your computer? PC and Mac.  I'm codependent.

Your mood? Na na na boo boo.

Missing someone? Nope

Your car? Dirty

Something you’re not wearing? Lampshade.  Yet.

Favorite store? Neiman's

Your summer? Too short.

Love someone? Yes

Your favorite color? Blue

When is the last time you laughed? 30 seconds ago

Last time you cried? Yesterday

Like I said, I am not tagging anyone, but if you've lasted this long through my detritus, then please leave a comment about what we have in common.  Also, please forgive my non-one-word answers.  I am excused because my dog ate my estrogen.  

**More importantly, for every comment I get by midnight EST tonight  (Wednesday)  I will donate one dollar to the Connecticut Food Bank.  I encourage everyone to do this.  Think Globally, Act Locally.

Thanks, too, to Maggie for the idea;)

xoxo, Lauren

Monday, October 20, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

An explanation. Of sorts.  
Augie has relocated his airing out space. 
Shaving calamity. 
At least I have some zinnias left. 
Pool is shut down for the season.  

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Two Days Off

cartoon from

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Send. Help. Please.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


It's Shoe Time

Isn't she Posh?
This makes my feet hurt.
For more of her beauty go here.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Dear Augie,

cartoon from

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Creative Bird

I asked The Bird to write a guest post for me because I have misplaced my muse. 
 This is her gift to all of us.  Isn't she an angel?

I'm writing a haiku
What have I gotten myself into
Crazy lady made me.

A Spot of Humour


A Message from Mr. John Cleese updated by Clemency Coggins Professor of Archaeology and Art History Boston University

To the Citizens of the United States of America:

In light of the strong possibility you are about to elect an elderly gentleman with a bad temper and a lady who thinks she can run foreign policy because she can see Russia from her house, as President and President-In-Waiting of the USA and thus to risk Life As We Know It for everyone else on the Planet, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). She won't actually be in charge, but she'll greet foreign leaders as necessary and not put her foot in it or vomit on anyone at dinner.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. He will choose someone who does not have his or her hand in the till and has significant experience in running Big Things.  You have not had one of them for almost a decade and trust me, it is a big plus.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. They have given away too much of your money already to rescue incompetent business executives and soon your American Dollars will resemble Zimbabwean Dollars in total worthlessness.  There is no free lunch you know.  Although we originally let you get away with secession because King George was robbing you blind, recent events demonstrate that your present leaders are doing much worse things and unfortunately you have not noticed.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether more than half of you still believe Saddam Hussein was behind 9-11. Information to the contrary will again be provided by the rest of the world and we request you read it this time and refrain from invading the wrong country ever again if you possibly can.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.  But we have a lot of Bank Holidays you will enjoy instead.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.  Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect   and without the benefit of conversion tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $9/US gallon. Get used to it.  Your driving armoured cars to buy groceries is unnecessary, boorish and killing the planet.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. We will require that people running things, like your government, are at least moderately competent and not related by  blood or bribes to those who benefit from their decisions.  We know it makes you more cozy when your leaders know as little as you do, but, honestly, it is short sighted: you need doctors who know more about medicine, pilots who know more about flying and leaders who know more about leading.

12. We respectfully request you give up this notion that Politics is Entertainment, and that very complicated things can only be explained to you in less than fifteen seconds.  If you wanted to have a democracy, honestly, you'd really need to have taken the time to understand things a bit more before you voted.  And may I suggest the startling notion that politicians don't need to look good to do a good job?  And it really is acceptable if they are a bit boring, so long as they do their homework. It's especially important if evidently you have not done yours.  Poor old Al Gore. Poor old John Kerry. And by the way, are you happy now you chose a Governor for California based on his teeth?

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager.

South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.

12. Hollywood will be required occasi onally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters.  Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first in their country. The six out of ten of you who don't own a passport will need to get one first.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).  Although this will raise your taxes, remember that the Neoconservatives will no longer be robbing you blind and so your Dollars will stop shrinking.  Didn't you know that inflation and government bailouts of huge companies were really paid for by you? We must do something about your educational system.  What on earth is going on over there?  Are you oblivious to the crushing debt you are leaving your children?  You might as well throttle them now.

17.  Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

God Save the Queen.  And we hope God won't instruct your President to invade any more wrong countries.

It was Just Me and my iPhone

All day long, yesterday.
After that glorious horoscope, you would have done it, too.

First, I needed a mani/pedi
You can't see it, but I am also holding a People.
And the massage chair was turned on.
The color is called Boris and Natasha.
Then, a mid-day concert at church.
Not to be outdone,
A tree at our accountant's office.
Extension on Income Taxes due.
I focused on this scenery instead of the chore.
The ride home:
Autumn in Connecticut is the very best.
I was driving, so this is the best I could do.
Squazz:  I was not actually moving.
A little bike ride with the Squazz.
And lunch!
Home for a nap.
Dinner with Miss K.
Squazz and The Chief had a meeting.
So us girls had to make the best of it.
If you want to read more of our antics, go here.
We always manage to entertain ourselves.
This would count as dessert.
All two of them.
Dirty ones.
How was your Wednesday?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hold My Calls

Today's Aquarius Horoscope:
Oct 15, 2008

Reward yourself with 2 desserts today, dear Aquarius. Take a bubble bath. Share your fantasies with others and express yourself fully. Don't feel like you have to say "yes" to every favor that is asked of you. Save some of that nurturing energy for yourself. Feel free to help out others in need, but don't do it at the expense of your own emotional and physical bank account.

Get yours here

Monday, October 13, 2008

A Day in My Life

Mrs. G hosted a fun theme day. Yesterday.
I forgot, so you can see mine today.
A day in my life. In pictures.
Don't be jealous.  Really.
Coffee in Fred and Bessie cup.
I love my Keurig K cup.

The Bird puts on her tiara and goes to school.

Treadmill. See that fan button?
The best feature ever.
Self explanatory.

Laundry. Something new and different.


More laundry.
Discovered in bowels of son's closet.


5 o'clock.  

The Queen is tired.
Such a busy day she had what with all the napping.

Mama's treasure chest.
Good night.