Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Birthday Suit

It's my Birthday Eve!
A day of contemplation...
What does the next year hold?
What is my purpose?
When will I stop sweating?
Itching?
~~~
Will Shauna ever stop entertaining me?
Don't her children look happy?
Should I wear that outfit doily to my birthday party?
Where on earth does one get something like that?
But those shoes?
They remain a constant...
They make me smile.
And for that, I am thankful.

34 comments:

Nurse Nancy said...

I would be walking 20ft behind her if I was her child. Please don't scare your friends at your party...you do want them to stay your friends.

TSannie said...

Ummm...Frederick's of Hollywood?

Tammy said...

She is something else! Big birthday plans?!

TexasRed said...

Wow, you've gotta special order something like that, I think. Happy Birthday eve!

Trisha said...

Isn't it nice to know that some things in this world never change? So glad that she can still make you smile!

Deb said...

The look on the child's face says it all...so unless you want a similar look from your children, forego the crocheted outfit and wear your red boots instead!

Happy Birthday Eve, my friend!

Deb said...

Birthday eve...you just birthed a new saying!

big hair envy said...

Happy Birthday Eve! You really should wear that outfit next month when the Country Mice come to visit. With your red boots, of course;)

Linda said...

I think you ought to find it, buy it, and then model it for us, and then we can wish you another Happy Birthday!
♫ ♫ It would make our day! LOL!

Diane said...

Happy Birthday Eve. That get up is awful!
No wonder her kids look so horrified!

The Good Life in Virginia said...

oh lauren...i surely hope you'd not be caught dead in such an outfit...lol. though, it could mix things up a bit!
any place exciting on the agenda for your gala day?
so we share an interest in mr. jefferson :0

noble pig said...

Oh man, she is just classic...happy birthday eve.

Keetha said...

It's the simple pleasures that make life so rewarding.

I think Deb is right - ditch the crotched outfit and don the red boots.

ro said...

I just love your blog. It makes me smile everyday that you post your observations. Please don't ever stop!!!!!!! Happy Birthday.

Hilary said...

Happy almost Birthday to you. :)

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

That is some getup!
<><

Lisa said...

Oh my goodness....I sure feel sorry for those girls, they are so embarrassed by their mother!

So your birthday is tomorrow.... I bet you have something pretty good cooked up. I just have all the faith in the world that tomorrow is going to be a wonderful,great, awesome, entertaining day!

Daryl said...

I have given those shoes a lot of thought.

I think she likes the way they make you look down vs at her overly plumped up mouth ... and she just cannot afford botox AND shoes .. so ...

As for her kids. I am not sure they care one way or the other how she looks ...

jojo said...

just one big happy family...;p Happy Eve Mama

Sassy said...

Shauna Sand is never going to win any good parenting awards, unless someone accidentally gives her a mug with #1 Mom written on it!!!!!! It really bothers me how she dresses like a hooker and takes her children with her....it is great that she spends time with them....but her quality time and my quality time seems to mean two different things......and sadly her children don't look very happy......YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER and the only place you need to stick your doilies is on a Valentine card to them.......♫♪HAPPY EVE OF YOUR BIG DAY♫♪♫

Snooty Primadona said...

I know what those girls are thinking... "I wonder how old I'll have to be before I can gets boobs like Mom's." Hopefully, they'll wait long enough that the boobs don't cause them to topple forward, head over heels, lol.

Sooo... do you care to share with us which birthday this might be? Whether you share or not is of no consequence. Having a good time is of the utmost importance, so be sure to have the time of your life tomorrow!

And, if you decide to kick up your heels, please promise to wear those red cowgirl boots...

Ellen said...

I think I saw that dress hanging on a drapery rod some place.

Happy Birthday. Here's to many, many more.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

There once was a Mental P Mama,
Who always talked about Shauna.
But what she didn't know
Is that Shauna's a faux,
And there's only one Mental P Mama.

Happy Birthday Eve!

phd in yogurtry said...

Some people don't put on clothes so much as they put on a clown suit. I mean, how pleasant will she be as a 70 yr old?

Kacey said...

That outfit totally screams you. You should so wear that for your bday party!!!

kim-d said...

I can guarantee you this...if you would ever dare to wear that doily, Mother Nature would laugh at you and switch out the hot flashes for freezing flashes. GAH-RON-TEED! :)

Suz Broughton said...

Can you imagine what her kids think? My daughter freaks if I wear a tank top.

Mary said...

Hope you had a wonderful birthday!!! I trust you wore something a wee bit more tasteful... but I'm sure you looked just as hot. Or maybe that was just the flashes... :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!!

I would sing, but as my gift to you this year, I won't :-)


Hope it's wonderful!

Debbie said...

I came over to see Thursday's post...
Praying, since you are so old, that you made it out of bed today!!

Flash Stitcher said...

How come her children look so normal?

Happy Birthday Dear MPM!!

These Nine Acres said...

Oh. My. God. She should be arrested. Happy birthday!

Maria said...

What does that sign say behind her? Semi-permanent...ology.....years.....?

The best piece of advice I got when I turned 50 was that I didn't have to explain why I was doing something or why I wasn't doing something. If pressed, the only reason I had to give was "Because I'm fifty." Not that you need advice like that. Ha ha ha.

Happiest of birthdays to you. :-)

Decadent Housewife said...

How did I miss this?
Never mind the doily - what about poor Arfy?