Friday, September 18, 2009

Mama's Cure for What Ails Us

Phew.
It's finally Friday.
I feel like a worn out puppy.
And I'm sure I'm in good company.
I hope I can restore myself.
With some good friends.
And some good laughs.
I got into a conversation yesterday, and we laughed.
We laughed, and laughed and laughed.
And when we were finished I felt amazing.
How long has it been since you had a laugh that made you cry?
How long has it been since you had a stomach-gripping guffaw?
Well my friends, I am here to help.
This is a funny book:

And I want to share it with you.
Chelsea Handler is quite the comedian.
This is no Pulitzer, but it will make you laugh out loud.
And that is something, in my opinion.
All you have to do is leave me a comment,
and say something funny.
Anything at all.
I will randomly select the winner on Monday night at 8 EST.
And if you pimp me, you get double the chance!
Now go forth and humor us!
We all need a good dose of it....
Love, Mental P

35 comments:

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

OK. It's not very funny. But I still want that book.

TSannie said...

That was a lot of fun last evening!

Deb said...

I think my daughter gave me this book to read. but my brain is foggy and my eyes blurry...

where do I find oregano tea?

Country Girl said...

I'll relate something I just heard this morning.
Our gym teacher was explaining muscles to the first graders. They learned that the biggest muscle is the glutious maximus. Today they came into gym class and were all sitting in a circle. The teacher asked which muscle were they sitting on. A little girl raised her hand and proudly said,
"the bootious maximus".

Hilarity ensued. (in the office at least).

Caution Flag said...

I'm not going to win. I never win. Going to the library now 'cause I need some quick curing.

Linda said...

Okay, here is mine:

A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things."

The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'"

The first woman asked, "Did it help?"

Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."


I hope I win!

Daryl said...

Fun .. laughter is the best, it burns calories!

The Good Life in Virginia said...

i need a good chuckle...my life is waaay to serious.
have a great day...and i am so glad it's friday.
been one of those weeks here.

Grandma J said...

I'm going to see a funny movie today...does that count? How about if I laugh extra loud and make a fool of myself? I mean more of a fool than I usually do?

That book looks like something I'd read..so if I don't win, then maybe the winner will follow suit and regift it again.

Living on the Spit said...

I made you snort on my blog post today if that counts...

Chelsea Handler is the best!!!

Keetha said...

I'm fresh out of any funny quips but still - thanks for such a fun giveaway.

Ellen said...

The nephew of the guy we got our latest old car from is called "Pugger." Apparently he looks like a Pugger - sleeveless shirt, long hair, wild beard. Every time we talk about Pugger we all laugh.

I guess you had to be there!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Some of the people of Wal-Mart make me laugh!
<><

kim-d said...

I love Chelsea Handler...she can be quite filthy, and I am quite a fan of filthy. :)

You want funny? How about a 53-year-old mental pausal (thanks, Mama!) woman taking finals for her summer quarter college classes. Now there's a laugh riot!

Thank you. Now. To me. Send the book. Please?

Comin' right up...the pimping. :)

Flash Stitcher said...

Well, my 88 year old MIL decided that she would send NSLO mittens filled with anti freeze....no kidding, she found them in one of those catalogs. She is sending them because it is already 38 degrees in Canton NY and she knows NSLO hates the cold!!!

Funny things is, she ignored NSLO for two years and at the ripe age of 88 she has decided to make up for it!! THat's the joke. But the mittens are funny too!!!

Bonnie said...

Every Sunday Father Donovan, a preacher at a small church in the little town of Juniper, MO, tried to make the Bible accessible to his congregation through his sermons.
On this particular Sunday, Father Donovan proclaimed, "If you ever feel adrift in the sea of life, just turn to the Bible for guidance. All life's experiences are immortalized in the good book, and it will help you find your way to shore."
After church Mrs. Francis approached the preacher and said, "Father Donovan, I don't think every life experience is in the Bible. Nowhere in the Bible have I ever read about PMS."
Father Donovan had never heard such a comment, so that night he sifted through the Bible to see if Mrs. Francis was right.
Next Sunday Father Donovan pulled Mrs. Francis aside after church and said, "I wasn't wrong last Sunday when I said that every life experience is mentioned in the Bible."
"Okay, Father. Where does it say anything about PMS?"
Father Donovan opened up his Bible and showed her a passage that read: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

Bonnie said...

...oh and I pimped you too! I love your blog posts!

big hair envy said...

The Wal-Mart email I sent you should cover me on this;)

Sandie said...

Funny.

Wait. That's lame. Lemme try again.

There's a little dog that runs loose around our neighborhood and pees on everyone's trash can on garbage day. I don't know that that's funny, but it sure is gross!

Angel Mama said...

The new nurse in our office (He Doc's nurse) is not very nice... My mom came in for her office visit with He Doc, and this nurse brought her to the back, into the exam room. I was at corporate, so wasn't in the office at this time. Nurse got behind closed doors, and said "So, you're AM's mother". Mom said yes. Nurse said "but you're not her biological mother, are you?". Mom said "yes, I am". Nurse said "oh".

Later when I came into the office, Nurse proceeded to tell me emphatically that I looked exactly like my mom! I said, "no, I don't look anything like her at all, I take after my father's side of the family and actually look like my aunt." She huffed, and puffed, and said "well, I can't help what you've been told all your life, but I know what I saw, and you look just like your mother".

I thought that was really funny after my mom told me she didn't even think she was my biological mother!! Me and the other nurse, and my mom thought it was very funny!

Carol said...

A couple hours ago, I was eating at the local 99, sitting at the bar so I could talk to a couple friends on the wait staff. Derek passed by and called out 'Are you going to the Lesbo parade?' and then on the next pass asked 'Didn't they tell you about it, do you still qualify?'

My answer which I didn't get a chance to give was 'Is that like
CPR, do I have to practice on dummies to stay certified?'

So, even though I might not win, I get to share my hysterical comeback with you!

Jo Whitehurst said...

Dr. MPM, this is the best cure ever!

The Hubs just brought home the second season of Big Bang Theory, and we have been laughing hysterically for the last couple of hours! Just what you ordered, and it is the BEST cure! Thanks!

Suz Broughton said...

I got nothin' I'll come back if I think of something funny.

jojo said...

Caution's eye scares me..I swear it follows me where ever I go...;p

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Mrs. Bird (featured occasionally on my blog) forgot she wasn't wearing pants (or underwear) and went outside. She is an original and a totally delightful woman. Whenever she comes down to see me there's another new story.

Debbie said...

Too damn long since the gut/belly laugh! I'm about finished the last Twilight book and I'm sick of vampires and werewolves...

I'm thrilled you are taking care of yourself! I'm off to pimping LOL

diane said...

Ben peed on me last night. I laughed. That's wrong isn't it?

(ben is my 6 week old grandson for those who are horrified)

(((mpm)))

Flea said...

I laughed so hard I thought I'd die. I did die. They buried me. Flowers grew over my grave. The roots grew down and tickled my nose. I laughed so hard I thought I'd die. I did die. They buried me ...

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

I've had 3 babies and despite my OB/GYN's warnings, I have not been doing my Kegels. Those muscles just... ain't what they used to be. I just... can't... read the comments.

But I would LOVE to read that book during my daily commute and laugh out loud and have all the other folks on the train lookin' at me like I'm some kinda freak!

Camellia said...

I'm not that funny when I'm not doing it on cue, but hey, I love your blog, so if it's random, here I am. And I hope to pimp my folks soon, and of course I'll include you, but I'm usually a day late and a dollar short on that sort of thing, so I figure this is like the lottery, if the universe picks you as a winner you only need one entry to win. Besides, this is really just showing my support. Can I stop now? Wrting, not showing support.

Karen Deborah said...

sumthin funny. well if you wasn't askin I could be funny. But when you ask i just draw a blank stare off into the dull horizon and say; WHAT?

But I can always use a good laf so put my name in the hat if you puhleeze.

Nancy said...

It has been a while, for that laugh. Although Ricky Germaine on John Stewart the other night had me laughing. Those two should do stand-up.

Kristen said...

I've heard about this book & have it on my Amazon list (which is quite long) of books to order!
OK, my funny of the moment...
2 blondes walk into a building............you'd think one of them would have seen it ;)

Decadent Housewife said...

The Emmy Obama Dress you posted today.

Lisa said...

Ok, I am without computer most the time now, due to being at my daughters house. And we are in the middle of a severe storm so I have to hurry and get this comment sent. But I do want to be entered in the contest....why???? Even I could use a good laugh...rather, especially "I" or "me" could use a really good laugh.