There is a sucker born every minute.
And, apparently, I am one.
I have high hopes.
I plan on waking up a size zero in a matter of days.
With smooth skin and clear thoughts.
And because I love you so much,
I'll keep you posted.
Do you think I should go buy all new clothes today?
I may be so detoxed by tomorrow that I have nothing to wear.
Or maybe not.
I don't know if these things will do everything they claim, but they did something to me. First, they turned pitch black during the night. It could just be hot feet, but I sleep in a refrigerated room, so I doubt it. Second, my dreams were very vivid. It could have been the pot roast and spoon bread I had for dinner, but I doubt it. Third, they may smell like lavender going on, but in the morning? Nope. More like bacon. Or something. All I know is that my dog Dora was with me when they came off my feet, and I haven't seen her since.