Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Very Short Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, ‘Will you marry me?’
The girl said ‘No’ and she lived happily ever after…and went shopping,
went out to lunch with friends, always had a clean house,
never had to cook, drank chardonnay, had a closet full of
shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and farted whenever she wanted.

The End

32 comments:

big hair envy said...

Yep. That's a fairy tale alright. Her name was probably Princess Euphoria:)

Cool Breeze said...

Sounds like my house ...

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Oh how I wish I'd read this fairy tale in my early twenties.....for the farting part alone, nevermind the chardonnay.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

TOO CUTE!!!

Minus the farting, of course...I don't fart...ever.

Hallie :)

heather said...

thats hilarious:)

Daryl said...

I love the farting part .. when I do that .. he says I love you tooo ...

Really

No idea why

:-Daryl

Flea said...

I'm with Hallie. I never fart. Except when I eat chili. :)

Kacey said...

LOL, that should become one famous fairy tale!!

kim-d said...

Yeah, well...I fart enough for myself, Hallie AND Flea. But I did that in front of my husband, too; I'm probably the only person who could out-fart him. We loved each other SO much :), and I still love him and miss him every day. Having had it both ways, I'll take the husband option. That's just me, though.

brneyedgal967 said...

Went shopping - check
Went out to lunch with friend - check
Clean house - why bother
Never HAD to cook - check (only when I WANT to)
Drank Chardonnay - check (or vodka)
Closet full of shoes and handbags - check
Stayed skinny - ahem
Farted whenever she wanted - check

Not so bad. I'll take it.

Country Girl said...

Sounds like my friend, Adrienne. In fact, it is her.

Sassy said...

Cute story...even though I am very thankful for my life most days that sounds pretty nice, can't imagine what that would be like...

Adventure girl wanna be said...

Helloooooooooooooooooooo! I heart that sista! Except for the clean house part! LOL

Deb said...

I love it...simple and direct. And you forgot to add...and no one even asked her where the food was...oh, yes he did...men!

Suz Broughton said...

**I love a good fairy tale ending**sigh

noble pig said...

Oh I want that somedays too.

Snooty Primadona said...

Wheee! This sounds like my marriage. Or else I'm delusional. Hmmm...

You're Right. It is a Fairy Tale.

I do remember Mr. Snoots coming home one night to find a couple of friends & I having cocktails. He asked "What's for dinner Dear? Liquor?" I replied "If that's what you want". I'm such an obedient wife.

;-)

Keetha said...

I think all young women should be required to read these, at least once a day from the time they're sixteen until about twenty-five.

Sara said...

A fairy tale indeed!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

LOL fairy tails can happen LOL

Heres the recipie its delish!!


Here’s the recipe for Crockpot Dressing. I hope you enjoy it. It’s toooo easy. And tastes the same every time. Something I’d always had problems with before.



1 – 8” pan cooked cornbread

8 slices day old bread

4 eggs

1 medium onion chopped

1 can cream of celery soup

2 cans cream of chicken soup

2 cans chicken broth

1 ½ Tablespoons sage

1 Teaspoon salt

½ Teaspoon pepper

2 Tablespoons butter.



Crumble breads and add all ingredients except margarine. Pour into crockpot and dot with butter. Cook on high 3 hours or low 3 to 4 hours. Stir half way through.



If I cook a chicken to put in it, I use 32 ounces of my chicken broth. I also heat the broth. It seems to help with the mixing of the breads. If I use hot broth, I wait until I’ve put in the other ingredients so as not to cook them.



I also cook my onion in my cornbread. My bunch doesn’t like to find pieces of onion, and if they cook in the cornbread and then a bit more in the dressing, you can’t find them.



Sometimes, I boil 3 or 4 eggs and cut them up in the dressing.



I also splurge and buy those crockpot cooking bags. Makes cleanup a snap.



I also think if you wanted to, you could put this dressing in the oven and bake it for an hour or so at 350 degrees. It makes a very moist dressing, and everyone that has eaten it likes it.

Flash Stitcher said...

I am with CBW. This would have been a good story for my mom to read me when I was 31!!!

Trade Chardonnay for vodka, keep the farting and move me back to my FABULOUS apartment in NYC.

I would have to have NSLO with me though!

If I click my heels 3 times can the good fairy make it happen? Or, is it just a Fairy Tale?

asthmagirl said...

You make it sound good, but there's one thing missing... A brute squad to make you laugh!

Starwoodgal said...

That made me laugh.

My best friend Deb has never married. She very much has the attitude of the fairy tale.

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

And she didn't have stretch marks.

Treasia said...

Loved this. Really cute but I wouldn't change a thing. I have all that now. LOL.

Daryl, And here I thought my Trucker and I were the only crazy ones who say I love you to the farter. haha.

Egghead said...

Not only did I laugh at your fairy tale but the comments kept me laughing. Fart? Women don't fart, they fluff.

Debbie said...

Yes, a fairy tale. I also wish someone had told me this one years ago..oh wait...my Mom told me a similar version right before we got married. I remember now, she told me over and over, but Mom's are never right!

Mary said...

You slay me. Seriously.
xoxo,
Mary

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I love this.

This is my new fantasy.

Joanie said...

My kind of fairy tale for sure!

imbeingheldhostage said...

well... fairy tales never come true for the brunette, do they?

I've read about farts, but I'm almost positive I've never done one.

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