Tuesday, November 11, 2008

My Favorite Email


Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS

SAFER

SAFEST

ULTRA  SAFE

What's for
dinner?

Can I help you
with dinner?

Where would you like
to go for dinner?

Here, have some wine.

Are you
wearing that?

Wow, you sure
look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some wine

What are you
so worked up about?

Could we be
overreacting?

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.

Should you be
eating that?

You know, there are
a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a piece
of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

What did you
DO all day?

I hope you didn't
over-do it today.

I've always loved you
in that robe!

Here, have some 
wine.

I am working on answering all your wonderful questions, and will have some answers later.

In the meantime, have some wine.

31 comments:

Flash Stitcher said...

My answer to "What have you been doing all day?" While drinking a glass of wine...."Eating BonBons of course, same as you!"

Deb said...

You can't go wrong with that the last answer at all!

Caution Flag said...

I have no idea what this chart is talking about. IS THAT GOING TO BE A PROBLEM??

brneyedgal967 said...

No wine for me - it would put me to sleep. I'm on book 3 - the house is a wreck, I have dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and I'm light headed because I haven't eaten. And I do this to myself willingly.

Sassy said...

You hit the nail on the head with that....where do we get them?????

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Thank you, mama, I will happily do as you say (have some wine) just as soon as it is a respectable hour. Is 10:00 a.m. respectable?

winetipper said...

Wow, a spreadsheet! I'm tearing up with pride...

TSannie said...

CBW, never forget what Jimmy Buffett and Alan Jackson said: IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE!!!

Starwoodgal said...

I copied, pasted, and e-mailed the list to the hubster. Love that list.

I posted a recipe for "Brandy Balls". You could eat those with a glass of wine on the side. :)

dlyn said...

My husband keeps a copy of this in his wallet for quick and handy reference.

Trisha said...

I am showing your post to Hubby tonight! Maybe it will help him when he feels like saying those things which annoy the heck out of me!

Sandie said...

lol, "I've always loved you in that robe!"

Criminy, my side is beginning to hurt from laughing so hard.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I'm seriously printing this out and putting it in the hubby's wallet.

noble pig said...

I've always loved you in that robe...that made me laugh out loud...this was a perfect morning post.

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

Bwahahahaha! Awesome. Oh and BTW I am reading Twilight...OMG!

Daryl said...

Ahhh .. the warnings list .. never gets old does it ..

:-Daryl

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

DUDE I AM PRINTING THIS FOR MY FRIDGE.

You? Genius. :)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

LOL excellent chart and yep it should come standard to all males over age 3 !

kim-d said...

I love that you have put this in easy-reference format. Now, just crop it down to wallet-size, laminate it and start selling. I know you will make enough to keep yourself in wine and shoes for a very long time! You, my friend, are a genius...

Susan said...

This is great- its going on my fridge too! Thanks

Lisa J said...

Oh i love it!!!! You are right, should be printed, laminated and placed in every mans wallet. Or tatto it to his forearm. Would make it easier for him to check more often!

Bear Naked said...

It is 6 o'clock somewhere in the blogosphere and for some reason, I feel like having some wine.
Cheers!

Bear((( )))

The Bright Side of Life said...

I love that and have never seen it before! I cannot wait to take a copy home to hubby tonight, it is a good night for him to read it too. Thanks so much for sharing!

Adventure girl wanna be said...

That is perfect!

Mrs. G. said...

I'll be forwarding this to my husband!

Country Girl said...

My favorite is "I've always loved you in that robe!"

Hahahaha.

My friend left her wine in a box. I am looking forward to a glass when I get home!

Krysta said...

perfect.

big hair envy said...

I believe that every husband should receive one of these little reminders in his stocking for Christmas. Laminated. Twice.

Would guests find it offensive if I posted it on my fridge?

The Glamorous Life said...

forwarded this to my husband.
I hope he learns something from it.

Keep the husband lessons coming will ya? He has a long way to go!

Egghead said...

I am printing, laminating and posting this all over the place, in his wallet, on the mirror, in the bedroom, on the fridge.................

Heidi said...

Love this. Wine goes with everything!