Friday, January 21, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me!

God Bless Andy Rooney:

“As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage
. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”

Any more?

32 comments:

Dianne said...

came by from Daryl's to say
Happy Birthday :)

tj said...

..."Happy Birthday MPM!" Here's wishing you a day as special as you! And btw, in case you didn't kno', that's pretty special! *<;o)

...And to Andy Rooney: Amen. :o)

...Blessings... :o)

Patty said...

Happy Birthday!!! I love your blog! If you get a chance sometime, stop by mine and read about my latest "Mental Pause" Moment. Yes, I am laughing about it.....now.

TSannie said...

That pig and sausage thingy...

Happy happy, my friend, and many many more! xoxoxoxoxxooxoxxxoxoxo

Drama Queen said...

Have a fantastic birthday today! I think birthdays are awesome - and I'd much rather KEEP having them than the alternative! :)

deborah said...

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!

I think Andy Rooney knows his women:)

I know I don't care nearly like I did about what others think of me now - I am what I am

Paxie said...

Happy Birthday sweetie! I am so blessed to know you and I hope you have a mahvelous day!!!

Andy is the man!!

The Incredible Woody said...

Happiest of Birthdays to you!!!!!

In the Heart of Happy said...

That's awesome...I always wished Andy Rooney was my grandpa. He would have been fun to have around at holidays.

Rural Rambler said...

Happy Birthday TODAY!!!! Nezzy is right, you just a baby!

I love Andy Rooney.

Keetha said...

Happy, happy birthday to you! I hope it's a grand one!

Thanks for sharing this by Andy Rooney - love it!

Daryl said...

Andy is one smart cookie .. and you are one fabulous broad! so do I win the coffeemaker ;-]

Joanie said...

Happy, happy birthday, and many more!! Love your post!

Obi said...

Happiest of Birthdays, Mama! And you're a FAB 50!!!

(love the be-sure-to-remembers of 50....I might actually be 50 and not realize it.....? lol)

Nancy said...

Happy Birthday!!

Love the last one... :-)

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Happy Birthday to a smart, witty, beautiful, brilliant woman who isn't getting older, she's getting better. Enjoy your day to the fullest.

Andy Rooney knows his stuff.

Kacey said...

Happy Birthday, my friend. Hope you have a wonderful one!!

Ellen said...

Happy birthday to a friend who shares my mother's birthday. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Country Girl said...

Thinking of you on your special day. It's a beautiful one here. Hope yours is as well, you spring chicken.

xoxoxo

Hilary said...

Happy Birthday to you, MPM. Wishing you much happiness and many, many more.

Sally said...

Oh, I love him and he's usually right on the money. I hope your day has been special, young lady;I remember when I was your age, wonderful times..

Happy Birthday! :)

Flea said...

LOVE IT!!! Happy birthday!

Snooty Primadona said...

Happy, happy Birthday! Funny stuff...

Tammy said...

All of that is so true!! Love Andy Rooney. I hope your day was spectacular!

Carol said...

Damn that's great stuff. Of course, I'm turning 54 next month so there you go. By the way, are you still Aquarius? I got bumped from being one to being a Capricorn. Some of the stuff really fits (pragmatic, hard worker) but I don't know what to make of this!!

Emom said...

Ooooo I am late! But the wish for a Happy Birthday is still just as sincere....smiles.

Karen Deborah said...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY girlfriend!!!!! I love this pieve Andy the dandy wrote about us ole gals. hope your special day was marvalous!!

LL Cool Joe said...

Damn I missed your birthday!!

Hope you had a wonderful day!!

Deb said...

How did I miss your birthday? Am very, very sorry...hope you had the best Birthday week ever....hugs n kisses...Deb

Nurse Nancy said...

A belated happy birthday my friend. Hope you had a special day and that the year ahead is as special as you are.... :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

AAAAAGH! I went away for a few days and believe it or not, I didn't take my computer!! I hope it was a spectacular day!! What a great year this one's going to be :-)

foolery said...

How did I not know it was your birthday? It's not like I was away from my computer -- I blame the Dutch.

Hope it was wonderful, pretty lady. PRUUUUUNES!