The Augman Cometh....

Spring Break has arrived for a certain son.

He had and has big plans.

Those plans had me worried because of our snowacaine...

Some parentexting™ was in order.

I like how he tries to change the subject with a food order.

Yesterday: Villanova to James Madison University to UVa.

In a snowacaine, mind you.

Today: Connecticut.

And the spaghetti will be ready as requested at 7 pm.

Word.

I'm Thinking Charleston...

Today's Aquarius Horoscope:

Feb 26, 2010

Today you just might want to cut yourself off from the world and hide, Aquarius. Your backyard or bedroom seems especially attractive right now, and you might have just purchased a new paperback that you're dying to read. You won't even feel like sharing a meal with the rest of the household. Don't worry about this. We all want some time alone occasionally. Your family should understand.

See ya'll later.

Will someone tell my family that I didn't shovel the walkways because I am supposed to stay in my cozy, warm room all day? Thanks.

I hope your horoscope is just as good!

This-n-That Thursday...

My horoscope says I may stumble on a pile of cash today...I rather like that thought. And the first thing I will do is hire a House Man. Here are some I would like:

• Niles
• Benson
• Hobson
• Jeffrey
• Mr. French
• Uncle Charlie
• Mr. Belvedere
• Tony
• Hop Sing

Who am I missing? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go start stumbling.

Olé!

The oldest Olympic competitor:

"Prince Hubertus of Hohenlohe-Langenburg (51), representing Mexico, his country of birth, and bedecked in a lurid, lycra outfit based on Mexican folk themes was the oldest competitor in the giant slalom and 35 years older than his youngest rivals."

He came in dead last.

But for this old lady, he is all that.

You betcha.

Who's your favorite?

Or am I the only one left paying attention?

Tuesday Text

February really is a cruel month.

My face is doing its best to pack up and leave me.

So I went to the doctor yesterday.

And while I waited to get in,

I whined wept carried on pathetically

tried to elicit sympathy from my spouse...

Isn't he a chatty Cathy?

See?

I don't even know this person.

Gah.

Meh, Monday

It's Monday, and all I have is: meh. I cannot even find a decent horoscope. I am back from my little adventure to South Carolina with the Bird. My face is swollen beyond any recognition. I'm thinking it is more than an alpha-hydroxy thing. I think I have to go get it checked today. Maybe that is the change in my boring scope...I'll get yet another prescription. Meh.

Today's Aquarius Horoscope:

Feb 22, 2010

Friction or other trouble on the job could cause you to want to quit, Aquarius, but worries about money might keep you from doing it. You definitely need to reassess your situation. Perhaps a change of position is just what you need now. You may have untapped talents that could make you more marketable, and you might also want to train those talents. Think about this! And if you really think you want a change, go for it.

Get your scope here

Please tell me something interesting...I am a desperate woman.

The Roadtrip

Day One:

Left the snow.

Encountered more snow.

Arrived in the Commonwealth in one piece.

Day Two:

Went to see Mr. Jefferson.

A must.

Kidnapped a rugrat.

Drove 40 million many miles.

Ate KFC. Maybe.

Day Three:

Eight states later.

Still have leprosy skin issues.

Never. Repeat, never use alpha hydroxy after waxing.

Ate a biscuit and sausage. Maybe.

Wonder where I am...

This-n-That Thursday

The things I've learned in the last 24 hours (The February Edition):

• You cannot ever have too much wiper fluid in your car.
• Never. Ever. Apply Alpha Hydroxy after a waxing session. Ever.
• Always expect a tractor trailer to have sheets of murderous ice on top.
• Always expect to be behind THAT tractor trailer with said ice sheets.
• Serious lesson: NO Alpha Hydroxy after waxing.
• That ice on the trucks? Will always explode right in front of you.
• State Troopers can and will hide behind snow banks along the I 95 corridor.
• If you happen to miss the ice, there will be big sheets of wood.
• This wood will have nails.
• Upward facing nails.
• If you miss the nail studded wood...
• There are the Potholes Of February.
• The potholes try to be funny.

• There is much misery and elastic pants in February.
• February bites.
• And the potholes are anything but funny.

What say you?

I Need a Break

It's February.

And I need a break.

From everything.

What would you like to see right about now?

Me?

I would like to see my babies' faces.

Followed by a palm tree.

Or twenty.

Dog Show

Westminster ain't the only show in town...

Check out this Westport pooch:

If I was the owner of that dog,

I'd sleep with my eyes open.

That outfit right there is downright humiliating.

Nothing like this:

Or this:

The Next Shifter...

Eleventeen....

And the odd thing?

It was the Augie Baby who chose this....

And all is well.

Eleventeen and twelveteen are the same.

I love you, CBW!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Bird - pick me! pick me! I love watching this man when he does the PBS fundraisers. He's so soothing, calming, quiet and wise.

PIck me!!

February 12, 2010 8:41 AM

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Random Integer GEnerator - Pick me!!

February 12, 2010 8:41 AM

Monday Morning Wake Up Call

Some coffee and lucite to get you on your way.

You're welcome.

Now the business of the day:

Today's Aquarius Horoscope:
Feb 15, 2010

A little foreign culture could be the thing you need right now to spice things up a bit, Aquarius. It could be that you aren't feeling a very strong connection with the environment around you. You could be anxious to spread your wings and explore your freedom. Start small but think big. Get out of your rut and do more exploring on your own. There’s a sobering, disciplined feeling to the day that could help you think realistically about your situation and where you want to go with it.

get yours

I think this may be the best one. Ever. And strangely true. Details will be coming.

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

I will be selecting a winner later, and announce the lucky duck at 5 pm today.

Now get out there and have yourself a Monday to beat all Mondays!

Happy Friday...Let's Shift

A few weeks ago, I won a wonderful contest--

A DVD called The Shift.

On my 50th Birthday!

Not any accident.

It shifted me....

I had been living in my empty nest...

Trying to find fulfilling work.

Trying to be a good wife.

Trying to be a good long-distance mother.

Trying to be a good friend.

And then?

Nancy had this contest.

I won!

And I watched this.

I'm still shifting.

Shifting.

Now I want you to watch it:

The Shift.

Every human being should watch this.

Alone.

And if you win, you have to send it along,

After you watch it alone...

with love.

Enter as often as you want, and spread the word!

The Bird or a Random Integer will decide on Monday morning at 10 EST.

I really want everyone to see this.

It is that good.

Happy Friday.

This-n-That Thursday

The one where I give meaning to yesterday's memorable word verifications:

• redifi: I will be going to the party after I redifi myself.
• nolispo: No, Mr. nolispo man, I haven't been drinking. Why do you ask?
• whessba: When I forget my inhaler, I whessba everyone.
• erlenefl: "Gotta get erlenefl, or she'll break the scale, said Phil's father about his son's new bride.
• loinget: Tarzan buys his pants at the loinget store.
• juddl: Wynonna juddls when she walks.

Give me one of your favorites....

Ssssssnow

Shoveling

Sweating

Souping

Sipping

Snow.

Tuesday Text: Parentexting™

Parenting at its finest:

How'm I doing?

Nuthin'

Somebody talk to me.

Even all my horoscopes are boring today.

It must be February.

sNOpocalypse

Did you hear?

Big snow was coming...

Vraiment?

I don't think so M. Junco--little Mister Snow Sparrow--

Mother Nature has already given me my Spring frock.

Seriously...

Snow doesn't go with this shade of goldfinch.

Just so you know.

It's only a matter of time now before the ducks get here.

Bien sur.

Yay! and other things...

Kacey wins the Valentine's Day (non-holiday) give-away!

And she needs a little bit of pink since she lives in:

A Testosterone Tower.

PINK!

...is coming your way my friend.

I am honored to say that Kacey is one of my first bloggy friends.

And she needs these pink earrings.

Just visit her and you'll agree.

What are you doing for the big non-holiday;)?

hmmm?

This-n-That Thursday

Mama's little helpers:

• Vitamin D
• B Complex
• Pinot Noir
• Curcumin Phytosome
• Zeolite
• Magnesium
• Malbec
• Calcium
• Cod Liver Oil
• Asmanex
• Chianti
• Benadryl

Is there anything else that I should be choking down?

Obsessed

Word Warp

The deadliest app.

But look at my high score!

Obsessed.

Are you obsessed?

Have you entered my Valentine's give-away?

Tuesday Text: Parentexting™

This week, we have a nice tempo with our communication.

A certain give and take...

My son may actually have learned some Spanish after all.

He could be a useful tutor.

If I can only get him to answer me on a timely basis.

And I still find time to give motherly advice.

Please notice my calm demeanor when the little cherub,

going through fraternity rush, informs me of his Plan B:

Gah.

Or as they say en español: gahio