Friday, October 9, 2009

Discombobulated

Since we have very few grocery needs in this house these days,
and it was finally time to go get some staples for Squazz and myself,
I ventured out a few days ago.
We have a very famous store in out little town.
At least the Leonard family thinks so.
Just kidding. It is an adventure all in it's own.
I didn't go for years because of the stories.
You had to get your cart and always go in the same direction as everyone else.
?
If you know anything about me by now, you know that wouldn't work for me.
What if I want to go a different way?
What if I need to go back and get something I forgot?
Well, a few years ago, I finally drank the koolaid.
I went to Stew's.
And I loved it.
So when I arrived the other day?
After only being gone a few weeks?
They had rearranged the whole dang place.
I was lost.
But I got Squazz his Cheerios and I got my cauliflower.
I am such a trooper.
And then I went home and had a nap.
And some wine.
I think if I'd had these child helpers, it would have been easier:
And maybe these shoes?
Yes.
If I had the helpers and the shoes, I'm sure I would have breezed through the joint.

28 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

Everyone really has to go the same direction? Do they pull you over and make you leave if you don't?

Mango Girl said...

That sort of store would not work for me either.

The shoes? Oh my...that's all I can say. Oh my.

xo, Mango

Starwoodgal said...

I wonder what sounds those shoes make when she's walking? Or how tall would she be without them?

Camellia said...

oh,the optimism of youth. And do some of those shoes (or others like them) sport live goldfish?

Kacey said...

Yeah, baby, *I'd* grocery shop in those shoes. ::snicker::

(isn't it weird how seldom you have to grocery shop after the kids are gone to college??)

Daryl said...

I had no idea there were rules, I have been there several times and never encountered the directional police

And does Shauna not have any other shoes? AND how come she doesnt get rubs or blisters from the 'strap'? I'll tell you why, its because her feet are also silicone, like her boobs

Marsha said...

Holy Crap! One might as well try walking on ice as to to try shopping in those shoes! And think what it's doing to her lower back! I see arthritis in her future. LOL>

Linda said...

That poor lady would probably be only as tall as the boy walking next to her. Ewwwwwww...........

I go all over the store, and then back again when I realize I've forgotten something. Can someone tell me why the milk is always at the back of the store?

Gin said...

What the...???? Maybe she uses those shoes to hit the person that takes the last of the tanning cream that she wanted?

imom said...

She has "Barbie" feet!

I hate when they rearrange the grocery store... I always forget something.

Keetha said...

I always wear my shoes like that when I grocery shop. You mean you don't?

These Nine Acres said...

Seriously? That's all I got.

Flash Stitcher said...

Have not been there since the rearrangement! I had just gotten used to going with the flow!!

Shauna's feet look weird for some reason.....

Debbie said...

Went today and got cereal and apples. Does Stew have any stores in the South? I didn't think so. You know how we are down here LOL

Deb said...

did you purchase your holiday pumpkin?

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Is this store owner like Seinfeld's Soup Nazi? There are rules? Talk about control issues.

Those shoes are completely out of control.

Patty said...

If I had ever worn shoes like that, even when younger, I would probably have gotten a nose bleed. LOL
I think sensible shoes for shopping are the best. Like sneakers, flat, comfortable and soles that won't slide.

jojo said...

It must be tough to suck it up and be her everyday! Have a good weekend mama...

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

If I had those shoes I would never have to shop again.....because my neck would be broken.
<><

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Maybe those shoes are made out of ice...
Seriously what a role model for those children - fake lips, fake boobs, beach bottle blonde (not that there's anything wrong with that!), fake tan and general all around fake look (slutty perhaps?) Lord help our growing girls!

Decadent Housewife said...

I like her purse. Enjoy your cauliflower.

Hilary said...

I've probably not followed for as long as I should to understand.. just who IS this person?

Country Girl said...

She would never make it out here where I live.
I'm just sayin'.

Can't hardly type!

Snooty Primadona said...

I think they would have let you go any direction you wanted to if you'd had those shoes on. Unfortunately, you would have had to hire someone to massage your feet afterward.

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Thanks for keeping us up on all the fashion tips. If the stores weren't closed I'd so be there, demanding my pair.

Sassy said...

wow!!!!!!!! what's wrong with me.....all I wear is flip flops.....

imbeingheldhostage said...

You might have breezed right out of the joint too-- on a stretcher. Holy cow, women wear those?

There was a commissary in our early military years that made you go in a certain direction and new people always messed up-- which lead to cart rage. Not pretty.

Suz Broughton said...

...and this whole time I've been wearing my Converse to the grocery store. What was I thinking?