Holiday Decor and the Empty Nest

A few years ago, I ordered an artificial Christmas tree from a reputable catalog.

It wasn't inexpensive, so I thought I was getting a good one.

I was wrong.

Think Charlie Brown's tree, but fake.

At least it came pre-lit.

And in its own storage bag.

That's a good thing, right?

So, right before Augie went back to school after Thanksgiving,

I had him bring our Christmas tree up from the basement.

He dutifully placed it in the living room window.

And he left.

The tree sat in the living room for three weeks.

Waiting to be adorned.

But Squazz and I had a moment of genius:

Let's just move it outside!

No decorations needed.

That way we are able to continue to relax in our child-free way.

And we can see it every time we drive down the road.

It's quite festive.

Don't you think?

Wonder if the kids will notice there is no tree in the house...

Tuesday Text: A Tale of Two Teens

Isn't it every mother's dream to get a message like this?

He may as well have said that they have real jail cells in Philadelphia.

Gah.

A man cold, college style:

And then we have this one....

I truly believe my daughter was both

Thomas Jefferson and Audrey Hepburn in former lives.

But the one thing my babies have in common?

A knack for avoiding their mother.

Please notice how one-sided most of my conversations seem to be....

And the funny thing is, it doesn't bother me.

I'll take whatevs whatever I can get;)

Monday Fuzziness

Aquarius

Monday, Dec 14, 2009
Your thoughts are dreamy, fantastic, and faraway right now. Your imagination and intuition is heightened, which benefits any creative or artistic work you may do. However, your practical reasoning ability and your ability to focus on the here and now are diminished. Your judgment regarding concrete matters is a bit fuzzy at this time, so you may wish to delay making important decisions.

get yours

Speaking of fuzzy...

Is it my heightened imagination,

or is that an awfully large waxing place?

Who knew there was that much fuzz in Westport?

And since I am not supposed to make any important decisions today.

I'll let you decide.

Wax or no wax?

Psssssst

Hi. I'm Dora.

And I'm famous all over the Internets.

At my Aunt Daryl's blog. And my Aunt Kate's place.

See?

Famous.

Now if I could just get my humans to get rid of this stupid collar.

My life would be perfect.

Well, maybe a nice biscuit, too.

And a nap.

Yes, then my life would be perfect.

A Christmas Memory

I have lots of Christmas Memories.

I should, too, because I've had about 29 of them.

Work with me.

When I was 5, I got my first bike.

A purple Huffy.

Monkey bars.

Banana seat.

And those sparkly streamers on the grips.

Heaven.

The only thing I had to do was learn to ride this bad boy.

Enter my stepfather.

He would run behind me, holding me up as I barely stayed upright.

"Are you there Tyler?"

I repeated my mantra while I wobbled along.

Every time, I would hear his panting reassurance "Yes."

"Are you there?"

Huff, huff, cough, huff, wheeze. "Yes"

And one day?

"Tyler?"

**Silence**

He was at the top of the hill.

Watching.

I had done it!

And when I realized I had sailed down this path on my own,

I fell over.

But I knew I could do it.

Patience, perseverance, hard work, praise and satisfaction.

Life's lessons all wrapped up in a purple bicycle.

And that was the best gift.

Ever.

This-n-That Thursday

This week's new annoyances symptoms of my advancing years:

• Cannot see the buttons on the phone
• Cannot hear anything except screaming children in restaurants
• Raging dyslexia
• Overnight eyelash loss
• A need to talk to the people on television
• A need to talk to myself
• Overnight goatee
• A need to scream at the lead story on the news at 6
• Everything itches
• Everything is especially itchy between 2 and 5 AM

I wonder what next week will bring....What's itching you?

Last Weekend

Annie, MPM, Daryl, Kate (photo credit)

Today's Aquarius Horoscope:
Dec 09, 2009

You have always been independent, dear Aquarius. You tend to act on your own, and you don't trust outside help. Over the last few weeks, however, you have managed to find people who have accepted you the way you are. It is as if you have found a refuge where you can escape reality. But you will find that if you open your heart to others, you will find additional places of refuge.

get yours