Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
- In this Wall Street bailout, do you think they will reward those of us who work our butts off, pay our bills, and have a reasonable mortgage? Like, please pay half of it?
- Can we have the election now, please?
- That whoopee cushion costume was his father's brainchild. Now you may have an idea why we are no longer married.
- I hate traveling lunges.
- I don't like smelly stuff either.
- Since they've banned plastic bags here, what
am I supposed tois Bird going to put the cat litter in?
- Why do my jeans roll over like that on top?
- Is it just me, or are the squirrels particularly suicidal this year? And everywhere?
- Remember that size 6x when you were little? I was so excited when I went from a 6 to a 6x. I remember my mother looking at me a little funny in the store. Now I get it. How on earth could a female celebrate going up a size? Surely this isn't my child, she thought.
- How long can I go without a bra?
- Maybe I should ask the doctor for a prescription diuretic. Nah, he won't give it to me. He'll just tell me to cut back on my intake and increase my cardio. The idiot.
- Why is electrolysis so expensive?
- Maybe I don't want to go to college with my kids. I think I see some light.
- Those elastic-waisted pants aren't so ugly. Are they?
- How many calories are in a slightly dirty martini as opposed to a very dirty one?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
- Don't put your Ped Egg next to the mouse on your desk.
- You can actually dream an entire grocery list, and wake up and go to the store with it in your head. Apparently I have been having a recurring dream that we need tall kitchen garbage bags. We probably will never need them again.
- When you make a Red Velvet cake, and cut your finger on the butter carton? You don't lose enough blood to counteract the weight you gain by licking the bowl.
- I don't like that old show Designing Women, and I loved it when it came out.
- I need to start taking my diuretics two days before my Weight Watchers'
- Waiting 3 months for your hair cut is worth it.
- An evening spent looking for baby pictures with your daughter for her Senior yearbook is such a bittersweet experience that you actually wish you could go back for just one day.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Today's Aquarius Horoscope: Sep 16, 2008
Events around you over which you seem to have no control seem to be all coming together to make things happen for you, dear Aquarius. You might find this a bit frightening, but don't let it get to you. Go with the flow. You've worked hard for what's happening today, and you deserve to enjoy the results. The exhilaration you'll be feeling could manifest as abundant physical energy. This could be too much of a good thing. Take care not to overdo.
I think this means I should take the day off. What do you think?
What does your horoscope say today?
Monday, September 15, 2008
- Lehman Brothers is filing for bankruptcy.
- Merrill Lynch is being sold to Bank of America.
- Ike's destruction and the horrors they are enduring in Texas is mind boggling.
- News that the engineer in that California train tragedy may have been texting. Texting?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
- I remember the first plane. Then the second one.
- I remember feeling like this could be the end.
- I remember how beautiful that day dawned.
- I remember the first tower going down. And the second one.
- I remember calling friends to check on spouses and siblings.
- I remember that I used to work on floor 104 of Tower One.
- I remember making sure the flag was out.
- I remember feeling numb.
- I remember driving to pick up my kids at school.
- I remember telling them what happened.
- I remember holding them a little tighter.
- I remember standing on the beach in Westport and seeing the smoke.
- I remember the silent, still night sky.
- I remember feeling an overwhelming loss of innocence.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
- Provisions had to be laid in (read: chardonnay).
- Food had to be stored (read: cheese and crackers).
- We had to go out and reconnoiter with our cohorts (read: drink chardonnay; or vodka).
- We needed a chili dog and curly fries at The Black Duck (it was awesome).
- We needed a thinner spinner bacon and onion pizza and chardonnay at Partner's (never got to the pizza).
- Sunday Brunch was all about reliving the horror. Not (read: chardonnay and mimosas).
- We needed to drink the stockpiled chardonnay at home (read: still going on....).
- And not forget the cookie dough...(too good for words.)
- That was good, and Squazz is still waiting for some dough, Annie. ( I don't even know what this means...