Thursday, May 22, 2008

Things That Kept Me Awake Last Night


Why do we need Jet Dry nowadays?  My mother never had to use the stuff, but if I don't use it, my dishes come out all wet.

What ever happened to that Biosphere thing?

When did I go from a tall drink of water to a big gulp?

Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't watch American Idol?

Does anyone think a man invented the mammogram machine? Or a woman?

Is it wrong to keep shooing the ducks away?

35 comments:

Treasia said...

You cracked me up about the "tall drink of water and a big gulp".

No you are not the only one who doesn't watch AI. The only time I watch it is at the very beginning when all the horrible singers try out. I just have to watch for shits and giggles then.

Mammogram Machine-Most assuredly a man.

Ann from Montana said...

I don't watch whatever it was you said...I don't have tv - well I have tvs but no cable, satellite, antenna so they only play DVDs...

MM - man or a truly sadistic woman...

TSannie said...

Don't worry - I've gone from a tall drink to spilling all over the floor. (sigh)

holly said...

i only watch a/idol because my daughter and i love making fun of it. it is one of our family times. oh that's sad.

jet dry is the step before jet-put-themselves-away, which is what *i'm* waiting for.

i clicked through from daryl's blog. liked what you said.

Flash Stitcher said...

I do not watch AI but I do have to admit that I am stuck on Top Chef.

I have gone from a tall drink to spilling it all down the front of me. I need a sippy cup!

Squeeze em machine definitely invented by a Sadistic Male.

WORKING MOM said...

Hormones are keeping you up at nite. These are just the thoughts that come when there is nothing else to do.

I don't watch or ever care to, Amercian Idol.

Mammograms.....oh man. I mean, it had to be a man.

Greta said...

Um...yes...you are the only person on the planet who doesn't watch American Idol. Do they have breathable air where you live? ;)

noble pig said...

Honestly, I think it's the dishwashers that are now crap and that's why we need it.

You don't watch AI....oh no! How do you survive?

Krysta said...

I have never watched an episode of AI, people want to talk to me about it and when i tell them I don't watch it's like I have some weird skin diesease. The boob machine has to be a guy, only a guy would think of smashing a boob like that. jerk!

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

Gotta have Jet Dry too
Never was a tall drink of water more like a sippy cup full here
Never have watched AI
The Mammo machine was invented by 2men Dr. Andre Willemin and Dr Charles Gros, figures huh.
It's alright to shoo the ducks away otherwise next year they have a family reunion of their WHOLE family at your place and oh boy whatta mess!

Kacey said...

yes, what IS it about jet dry??

And, for the record, I don't watch Idol either. Or any reality TV. I know, shocking!!

Trisha said...

I am with treasia - I only endure AI when the horrible auditions are on - and that is because Hubby insists we watch it. Other than that - I can find other things to do!

As for the mammogram machine - who else but a man? Would a woman do that to herself?

Daryl said...

Oh what a wonderful post ...

Did you mother have a dishwasher or were you and your sibling the dishwasher/dryer?

I dont watch ANY reality TV .. I have more than enough reality in my life .. I will admit to watching 4 seconds of the original Survivor and thinking WTF?

Definitely a man who invented the mammo machine ... and that awful ice cold PAP thingie

And no, its not mean or bad to shoo the ducks .. duck poop in a pool is not a good thing ...

:-Daryl

ONEDIA HAYES SYLVEST said...

Why do we need Jet Dry nowadays? My mother never had to use the stuff, but if I don't use it, my dishes come out all wet.

---Yes and why do my glasses get cloudy if I put them in the dishwasher (if I had a dishwasher )

What ever happened to that Biosphere thing?

---Wikipedia has the answer to all things (well most) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biosphere_2

When did I go from a tall drink of water to a big gulp?

--yea and me from hour glass to teapot.

Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't watch American Idol?

---nope but I have to watch Hell's Kitchen, Top Chef, and Tony Bourdain with my husband.

Does anyone think a man invented the mammogram machine? Or a woman?

man definitely I would have made an adjustable bra shaped thing.

Is it wrong to keep shooing the ducks away?

--Only if you use rocks to do the shooing

Daryl said...

Okay .. its not 'you mother' .. its either 'yo mama' or 'your mother' .. your call .. LOL.. and having been a VERY tall drink of water and now having issues I can empathize ..

:-Daryl

Laura ~Peach~ said...

1. Can't answer this as I or Martha are the dishwasher...
2.good question
3.i am with the tea pot :-)
4. I love AI started watching season 5 and been hooked ever since! This year was excellent both davids are winners and wonderful singers!
5.definately men !
6.would you like to borrow one of my BB guns... ducks are great but not in the pool.

Christine said...

I'm with Ann... no cable here either. It's DVDs or nothing. Usually nothing. The TV annoys me. (My kids hate me.)

I don't use JetDry... I air dry my dishes or wipe them dry with a cloth.

Men invent all torturous things for women: MM, hosery, and bras.

:)

Lisa J said...

I am not an American Idol fan at all. But watch out,get out of my way, don't touch my tv when it comes to Survivor and now .....the mole. I love the mole. I was in LA when they were making it the very fist time and we saw all their cables laying around all over the town. Could not figure out what in the world that was about. Came home and saw where it was a new show coming up. Watched it, loved it and will watch it again. When is the next Amazing Race???? Good grief!

Kim in Carlsbad said...

First time on your blog - you are a hoot!

I too use AI as time to spend with my teenage daughter, I will endure anything to spend time with her.

Jet Dry - just another big business scheme to get us to use more of their chemicals I think.

Mam - oh has got to be a man. However, you can train for it by laying on your side topless and have someone lower the garage door on your boobs!!!

MamaGeek said...

You're a hoot. A wise hoot! A man TOTALLY invented the manogram - the same gender who invented the panty house.

OY. VE.

mommypie said...

Personally, I want to know who "Pete" is and why I care about his "sake."

Thanks for stoppin' by today!

foolery said...

I was never a tall drink of water, but a stein of ale. Now it'd take four German bar wenches to hoist me.

Flea said...

I don't watch American Idol. YEAH!

Asthmagirl said...

As you know, I have the love/hate relationship with the boob machine. I do wonder why when they find a lump and I need a ultrasound I always get a boob guy. Isn't there a boob woman beyone that point? Now I have to lay there with the boob out and I've got a pimply faced 20 years old with a bottle of warm goo and a transducer that wants to "find the bump". Just once, I would like someone with some compassion on the other side of the goo.

Sorry... touchy subject.

Stacey Huston said...

I like to think that I am a slow sip now that I have gotten older..(wink) I am guessin the MM was made by a sick woman.. what man do you know that would do THAT to a womans breasts..

Jules said...

Oh stop...you're still hot...just ask squazz;)

Snooty Primadona said...

Nope, I don't watch Idol. Except for the beginning of the season when they have all the rejects, lol.

Oh my. Maybe our nasty water has migrated (or spread) to your neck of the woods.

I'm short, so tall drink of water or big gulp both sound good to me.

Man. Definitely man.

Not everyone enjoys scraping up hardened duck shit. Keep shooing.

My man in the moon said...

Hello I am new at this blog thing. I was what I'm now told blog surfing?? I came across your blog and I think it's great. I have laid there at night and thought of some pretty funny thigs also. Well I think a man did invent the mammogram machine. Because only a man would come up with something that would squeeze your boobie's like that.
Please stop in on mine and tell me what you think. I would like the company. I feel like a orphan at this.
http://welcometomypartoftheworld.blogspot.com

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

Dianne said...

i dont watch american idol

Debbie in NC said...

Our life is so up in the air here... I was staring out window drinking a glass of water at the kitchen sink and the phone rang.

I jumped so much, the water went flying all over the kitchen and I never EVEN GOT to the phone!!

I'm giving up on Idol..I watched the beginning, when it's funny and could have cared less who won....

Meg said...

I don't and have NEVER watched American Idol! I always have used Jet Dry because out in West Texas the water was very, very hard, even with a reverse osmosis system in your house. I GREW up with GOOD drinking water and it's still my drink of choice. The Biosphere thing...yup, you got me there.
Mammogram, DEF a man!

Meg said...

I was trying to be funny, I forgot to add I am still a tall drink of water with a BIG GULP body
Lol!

caution said...

Try vinegar instead of jet dry. It works and my machine drinks it slower.

The mammo thing? I am looking for a tech with HUGE boobs for my next one. So sick of women with only a nipple looking away as they heft my mama-size chest onto the squisher. What's with the two handed approach?

Country Girl said...

The things you think about . . . no, it's not wrong to shoo the ducks away. And it's definitely not wrong to NOT watch American Idol. I just do it because my husband seems to enjoy it. He calls it the Singing Survivor Show.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

There's no need to stop at the mammogram machine.

Everything bad in life can be blamed on a man.

The End.